tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28916187734742114562024-03-05T14:58:50.695-08:00creative ADHD parentingA CHADD blog: Let's talk about parenting children with ADHD.CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.comBlogger49125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-46394999811494660092017-08-28T11:51:00.000-07:002017-08-28T12:18:43.829-07:00Start the School Year Right with The Teacher Letter and the Homework Station<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>guest blog by Beth A. Kaplanek, RN, and Linda Smith, BA<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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Summer is great—no schedule, fewer demands, and no homework! In August, however, it's time to start preparing to ensure a successful school year for your child. </div>
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Schoolwork and the stress it brings can be difficult for families dealing with ADHD. But you can get the school year off to a good start by effectively communicating your child’s needs to his or her teachers and by setting up a home environment that facilitates homework completion.</div>
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<b><br />WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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A letter can be a great vehicle for getting pertinent information to your child's teachers, whether or not your child has a formalized educational plan. If a formalized plan has been created, don't assume that the teachers have been informed about its contents. Remember, it only takes a week to get behind in school, and then the stress for you and your child to play catch up never seems to end. </div>
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Write your letter before the school year even begins—or as soon as possible if it already has begun. Information is provided below to assist you in writing your letter, and a sample letter is provided at the end of the blog. </div>
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The purpose of the letter is to make your child's teacher(s) aware that your child has an educational program. Teachers may not have received those records from the school administration yet, and you want to make sure the information has been conveyed to them. Write the letter in the spirit of providing support to the teacher, while making sure your child's records have been made available.</div>
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Close the letter by saying you look forward to meeting the teacher(s) on back-to-school night, then be sure to attend it. If the school does not hold such an event, ask to meet before the parent-teacher conferences at the end of the grading period. Send the letter to all your child’s teachers, including physical education teachers and coaches, and share a copy with the school principal.</div>
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<b>Important points to address in your letter</b><b><span style="color: red;"> </span></b></div>
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<li class="MsoNormal">Your name and relationship to <u>(<i>child’s name</i>)</u><o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal">Your contact information<o:p></o:p></li>
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<li class="MsoNormal">phone numbers</li>
<li class="MsoNormal">mailing address<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal">email address<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal">best times to reach you<o:p></o:p></li>
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<li class="MsoNormal">Your aim to work as partners to ensure a successful year (for teacher and child)<o:p></o:p></li>
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<li class="MsoNormal">establish positive, open communication between home and school<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal">offer cooperation, collaboration, assistance, support<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal">provide helpful information about your child<o:p></o:p></li>
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<li class="MsoNormal">Information about your child’s disability and educational program (IEP or 504 Plan)<o:p></o:p></li>
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<li class="MsoNormal">instructional needs, modifications, and/or accommodations in the plan<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal">behavioral needs, modifications, and/or accommodations in the plan<o:p></o:p></li>
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<li class="MsoNormal">System for home-school communication<o:p></o:p></li>
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<li class="MsoNormal">daily homework and assignment sheet<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal">daily/weekly behavior report<o:p></o:p></li>
<li class="MsoNormal">progress report, problem-solving, as needed<o:p></o:p></li>
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<b>SET UP YOUR HOME FOR HOMEWORK<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Next, think about setting up your home environment for homework sessions. Because many children with ADHD have problems with organizational impairment due to executive function deficits, proactive strategies can remove some of the stress from this process.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Organize a designated space in your home for doing homework. Choose an area that is away from distractions and has ample room. Depending on their age, some children do better working independently in a quiet place away from other family members and distractions. Younger children often need to be in an area close enough to mom or dad so that progress on homework can be monitored.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A large calendar on the wall can be helpful for keeping track of assignments, due dates, and for planning out the components of long-term assignments. You can also include the dates of other activities, such as soccer games, piano lessons, and so forth. This will help both you and your child see the big picture of what needs to be done each week. Post-It notes and a bulletin board can be helpful organization tools for older children.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Make sure all homework supplies are organized and accessible close to the designated homework area. Sort the supplies in containers or bins placed in a regular spot on a shelf. Students often need paper, pencils, pens, colored pencils, crayons, erasers, magic markers, a ruler, a calculator, a stapler and staples, scissors, glue sticks, and report folders. Different kinds of paper, such as lined, graph, computer, and construction paper, may be needed. It's wise to keep a supply of poster paper and maybe even a project board on hand for those moments when your child announces at 9 PM that he just remembered he has a project due for his science class tomorrow.<o:p></o:p></div>
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One tool that is essential for children with ADHD is a timer that can be set to break the homework session into manageable units. Setting the timer for fifteen minutes of on-task work followed by a five-minute break can give the fidgety or frustrated child an opportunity to get up, move about, and then refocus on the work. Repeat this process for as long as is necessary to complete that day’s assignments. Time limits will vary depending on the age of the child, ability to stay on task, and difficulty with or interest in the assignment. The timer can also be a tool for teaching time-management strategies.</div>
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Prepare a notebook for all handouts your child’s teacher sends home. <b>This notebook will be for you. </b>It's hard to remember classroom policies, course outlines, and grading scales for all teachers. When your children bring home correspondence during the school year, you will have a place to keep it. Another option is to create a section for each of your children in a three-ring binder, using notebook dividers with pockets. When you need to refer to the information, you will know right where to find it. </div>
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Writing a letter to your child’s teachers and setting up your home environment so that you are ready to meet the challenges of homework completion can help your child and family get off to a good start in the coming school year. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><span style="background-color: yellow; color: blue; font-size: large;">SAMPLE LETTER TO YOUR CHILD'S TEACHER</span></b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Date</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Dear Mr./Ms./Mrs. _____, </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">My husband and I are writing this letter to introduce ourselves and to open a door of communication. We are the parents of [child’s name], who will be a student in your class this year. We look forward to a successful school year for both you and [child’s name], and as parents, we want to work with you and the school as partners in [child’s name]’s education. We will be happy to help you and [child’s name] in any way we can.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">In case you have not yet received the records, [child’s name] has an educational program [insert IEP/504 Plan as appropriate] to address needs related to ADHD, which affects [<i>insert appropriate information here; for example:</i> <i>his ability to sit still, pay attention, and control his behavior. He has particular trouble getting organized, staying focused, completing and turning in assignments on time, and memorizing information, such as math facts</i>.] We want to take this opportunity to share information about his educational services in a simplified format, including the modifications and accommodations he receives.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Listed here are the main provisions of his [<i>insert IEP/504 Plan and list specifics below</i>]:</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></div>
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<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Preferential seating<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Extra time on tests (time and a half)<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Test answers recorded in an alternate manner, as needed—especially for short-answer and discussion items (oral, audiotaped, dictated, or typed responses)<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Second set of books at home<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Use of a calculator for math<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Shortened homework assignments for math and writing<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Homework, long-range assignments, and tests recorded in planner, signed by teacher, and sent home every day<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Resource room, 45 minutes 4 times per week for math<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Foreign language exemption<o:p></o:p></span></li>
<li class="MsoNormal"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Home-school reward system for homework completion and turning in assignments on time<o:p></o:p></span></li>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">We would also like to take this opportunity to set up a system of communication between home and school. You may already have such a system for your class that we will be happy to adapt and use. If not, then we will send a planner to school with [child’s name] everyday. It will always be in his backpack. He is to use it to write down his daily homework assignments, as well as any long-range assignments, such as upcoming tests, so that we can help to monitor his schoolwork at home. I will also use the planner to communicate with you on a weekly basis. Would you please assist us by reviewing and signing his planner before he leaves school each day and sending a note home in the planner on Fridays, so that we can help [child’s name] come to school prepared and reward him for his weekly school progress? </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">We would like to thank you in advance for taking the time to read our letter and helping with this important program. Having a system of support in place at the beginning of school will help to get the year off to a good start. My husband and I look forward to meeting you on Back-to-School Night, [insert date if known].<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Please do not hesitate to contact us about problems or call on us for assistance at any time. We have included our phone numbers and email addresses below.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Best regards,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">[signature]</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Parent(s) Full Name(s)</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Street Address<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Town, State, Zip Code<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Home Phone, Cell phone<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Mother’s email, Father’s email<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">CC: Principal<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Resource Room Teacher, Music Teacher, Art Teacher, Coach [all that apply]</span><b><span style="color: red;"><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><i>Beth A. Kaplanek, RN, and Linda Smith, BA, are two of the founders of CHADD's Parent to Parent: Family Training on ADHD</i><i>. A previous version of this blog appeared in </i>Attention<i> magazine.</i></b></div>
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<b><i>____________________</i></b></div>
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<b><span style="color: red; font-size: x-large;">WANT MORE BACK-TO-SCHOOL HELP?</span></b><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Training-Events/Event-Details.aspx?MeetingId=%7BE64609E8-A97B-E711-B5CE-0050569C00A7%7D" style="text-align: center;" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="408" data-original-width="528" height="247" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtDbNTOEYCm6_BD1FH8LCnGodzWQSPRKu2slnMgneC9W88I00f9WB8KA4UnqNGtuc1neSwktO0_KKUk35-JG3moTX8hkbmqYuSQ8Pnatvq5gw37k9OeCBSfcn9BGVll-0sqzdiVrzmrGU/s320/How+to+start+the+school+year+right.png" width="320" /></a> <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Training-Events/Parent-to-Parent-Program.aspx" target="_blank"><img border="0" data-original-height="180" data-original-width="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1sIFTsVsQCbplFG_L4wVf4fL7JDmXnVq16OFg6UFzI1sxy3IcGenyk13xwqxHN8GOlIpT8XU6-MGtHvx6S4fcMtfVmxTHinwK3qycePst_RDMg_bNuzGuLFkR1tJ2O8FRsm2f3xQ1xFo/s1600/Copy+of+Email+Ad.png" /></a></div>
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CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-37361120986596803932015-12-22T08:50:00.000-08:002015-12-22T08:56:17.464-08:00From Hyper to Happy II: Your Holiday Home<b><i>guest blog by Karen Sampson Hoffman</i></b><br />
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The holidays are here. Questions like, “Which traditions does our family want to celebrate and continue?” have been answered. It’s the little things that are snowballing that need to be addressed now. Such as cleaning the house. <br />
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Getting ready for the holidays at home can test anyone’s patience. With ADHD in the mix, you may get overwhelmed quickly. You may find it difficult to start or stay on task. Can you offer to co-host holiday events with another family member, perhaps even at that person’s home? If that's not going to happen, we've got some tried-and-true suggestions to offer you.<br />
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<b>Develop routines</b><br />
Maintaining a home is such a big project that a few generations ago, nearly every family had a full-time home manager. Today, it is more common that single and partnered adults work outside the home. The challenge can still be met, even with ADHD in the mix.<br />
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FlyLady (<a href="http://flylady.net/">flylady.net</a>) is the best-kept secret of many CHADD members, according to what they tell us. So named for her love of fly fishing, FlyLady is all about “baby steps” and routines. She explains how to develop a routine to tackle the holiday season and the rest of the year, and her plans and control journals work well for anyone affected by ADHD. Since you design your own routine with her guidance, it will fit the needs of your life.<br />
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<b>Make a plan</b><br />
Scout your dwelling and note what needs the most work, what needs the least work, and the best hiding places for stuff. That includes cramming things under the bed, but only for quick cleanings during the holidays.<br />
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<b>Set a timer</b><br />
Once you have a plan, set the kitchen timer for 5, 10 or 15 minutes. Then attack the first room. Pick up, stuff away, clear out of sight. When the timer dings, reset it for the next room, whether the first is done or not. Repeat the picking up in the second room. <i>Ding</i>; same for the third. Set the timer again, grab something to drink or nibble and sit. Rest for the fourth round. <i>Ding</i>, and you’re back to the first room. Do this until each room is picked up, dusted, and vacuumed and any additional scrubbing is completed. Repeat the process for as much time as you have available. Breaking it up over a couple days or a week is a good thing, too.<br />
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<b>Follow these handy tips</b><br />
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<li>Leave a second garbage bag at the bottom of the pail, underneath the current one. That way you have one handy in a pinch without having to hunt for it.</li>
<li>Keep one extra of each household product — soap, can of soup, paper towels, etc. — on hand. Don’t fill your cupboards with more than you need, but make sure you have a back-up at the ready so you don’t lose your stride.</li>
<li>Keep all cleaning supplies together — a mop bucket makes a great container to stick everything in so you can move from room to room quickly.</li>
<li>A good rule of thumb: If you use it in that room, find a place for it to live in that room. That goes for brooms (kitchen pantry), vacuums (living room closet), laptop computers and accessories (family room entertainment center), and tablecloths (dining room china cabinet). This works well with cleaning supplies, too (perhaps high up in a cabinet if there are small children in your life).</li>
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<b>Heed the voice of experience</b><br />
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The best ideas often come from those who walk the same walk. Here are some strategies submitted to us by CHADD members.<br />
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<b>Make running lists.</b> Notebooks and smartphones are great for this. Make a list for everything from groceries to library books, and keep your lists in one place for easy reference.<br />
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<b>Limit the number of guests. </b>Make it a small party; a dinner party of six is more manageable than 26. Since this is a holiday season, make use of the time by having two small dinner parties with different guests. Another possibility would be to host a small, intimate party at home, and then make reservations for the larger group at a favorite restaurant.<br />
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<b>Call your favorite grocery store and find out about its holiday meals. </b>Many stores now prepare the entire meal at a reasonable cost. Order ahead, pick it up the morning of your holiday meal, and follow the store's reheating instructions. Serve in your own dishes — and who would know?!<br />
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<b>Online shopping is good. </b>If the online store includes gift-wrapping, go for it! Have gifts sent to their recipients rather than to you. One wise member pointed out that wrapping gifts as soon as you get them helps to avoid the 3 AM crunch before the big day.<br />
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As another wise member wrote to us, “Change the expectations so the holiday works for you, not the other way around.”<br />
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<b>If all else fails…</b><br />
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Humor and spontaneity go a long way during the stress of the holiday season. Allow yourself to be creative when faced with a domestic challenge. <br />
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Perhaps one of the most creative solutions we’ve heard came from a CHADD member who wrote that he once had a stack of newspapers piling up in the dining room for a couple of years. As company was coming rather soon, he struck upon a plan: He placed a board across the tops of the piles and draped a holiday tablecloth over it. The piles were successfully hidden, and the set-up “didn’t look bad, really.”<br />
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With a touch of irony, he added that his newspaper/holiday table stayed in place for a few more holidays before finally making its way to the recycling bin.<br />
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"><i><br />Karen Sampson Hoffman, MA, is the coordinator of the NRC's Ask the Expert series. She writes from St. Denis, Maryland. This post is cross-posted on CHADD's <a href="http://chaddadultadhd.blogspot.com/2015/12/your-holiday-home.html" target="_blank">Life with Adult ADHD</a> blog.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;">Another version of this post appeared in </span></i><span style="font-size: medium;">Attention <i>magazine. <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Membership/JOIN-CHADD-US-Membership.aspx" style="color: #888888; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a> and receive every issue!</i></span></b></div>
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CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-19758644968180688222015-12-15T08:22:00.000-08:002015-12-15T08:40:54.842-08:00From Hyper to Happy Holidays<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Seasonal Tips for Anyone Affected by ADHD, Part One</span></b><br />
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<i><b>guest blog by Karen Sampson Hoffman, MA</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsyQYxJsdGuUKrP8GvYgvVos_wWErKsfrFvIQdyqOcJWUDSlWgrYWh7P_qOmSjJ7nl9R5b0H0xSkcMldvoIFM6AYARYmEng2yreVz8SEQ80YjdqILTSyne7Wddi7xTUBwix_pXSg7cYsA/s1600/Holidays021.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsyQYxJsdGuUKrP8GvYgvVos_wWErKsfrFvIQdyqOcJWUDSlWgrYWh7P_qOmSjJ7nl9R5b0H0xSkcMldvoIFM6AYARYmEng2yreVz8SEQ80YjdqILTSyne7Wddi7xTUBwix_pXSg7cYsA/s1600/Holidays021.jpg" /></a>The run-up to the holidays is in full force, offering everything from excitement to frenzy. For anyone affected by ADHD, it's often a time of both excitement and frenzy. No doubt about it, the holidays require additional thought and planning — and a healthy dose of humor.<br />
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Each of us has an image of the perfect holiday in our minds. Many of us create undue stress in our lives by trying to achieve this image. We end up missing out on the joy of the season. Instead, with a pad of paper, calendar and a realistic set of goals, we can plan and enjoy the holidays by following the advice of one CHADD member who wrote to us: “Change the expectations so the holiday works for you, not the other way around.”<br />
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So we dug into our archives in search of more gems like that. We found many ideas to make this holiday season flow more smoothly and become a pleasant experience in your home.<br />
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<b>HOLIDAY BEHAVIOR</b></div>
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The amount of stimulation brought by holiday events — especially those that include crowds and seldom-seen family members — can easily become too much for adults and children affected by ADHD. Parents and relatives can help children with ADHD by understanding that the frenzy of the holiday season affects their kids’ daily lives and by showing empathy. Adults can be equally kind to themselves or their spouses and partners by allowing them time to regroup, setting up quiet rooms, or facilitating graceful exits from parties.</div>
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Think ahead to social situations that might be difficult. Plan a variety of cooling-off activities that can help you or your loved one gain control during stressful times and help make holiday events enjoyable for everyone.</div>
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<i><b>For Young Children</b></i>•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Turn on holiday music and encourage children to dance to get their “wiggles” out.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Provide a special treat that your child needs to sit down to enjoy.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Roll up your little one’s sleeves and let him splash in a sink with a bar of floating soap or bath toys.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Use a special CD or book for the holiday season as a distraction when behavior starts to escalate.</div>
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<i><b>For Older Kids</b></i>•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Make busy-time packets with stickers, coloring books, writing paper, crayons, pens and stickers.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Let children pack sack lunches and find different spots in the house or the neighborhood to have lunch.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Try art: Bring out the crayons, markers, and colored pencils, and let your child color in a special coloring book or use butcher paper to make a mural. Other possibilities include using modeling clay, gluing cotton balls together or on paper, or making chalk drawings on the sidewalk.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Record a favorite family TV show or find a special movie to play when quiet time is needed.</div>
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<i><b>For Adults</b></i></div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Plan how long you would like to remain at an event.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Offer to help out in areas that are more suited to your abilities, whether it’s the excitement of watching the kids or the calm of helping to do dishes.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Talk with the host or hostess ahead of time, and ask if there is a room available if you need a little bit of time away from the hubbub.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Be willing to politely intervene when you see your companion becoming stressed in the situation. You may realize it before he or she does.</div>
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<b>HOLIDAY TRAVEL</b></div>
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Be sure to make your travel arrangements ahead of time so you can take advantage of lower fares for advanced booking. Consider what is the best time of day for you or your family members to travel. Traveling with ADHD takes some planning beyond air flights and hotels.</div>
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<b><i>For Yourself</i></b></div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Consider your daily needs and how they can be met while you’re on the road. How much do you rely on your smartphone or daily planner? What about computers and email? Do you use medication to control your ADHD symptoms? Do you crave a particular morning coffee or evening snack? Take account of all of these things and plan in advance, packing anything necessary for your day to run smoothly.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Check with your airline, hotel or travel agent to see if they can assist in meeting your needs. Ask for aisle seats if you know you’ll need to stand or walk a short distance for comfort. If you're carrying medication for ADHD or other health concerns, check ahead of time for the proper way to pack them. Make sure you have any necessary documentation or prescriptions with you, and always pack your medication in your carry-on bag. If you're traveling internationally, find out the proper way to carry your medications between countries.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>When packing your carry-on bag, keep in mind your level of tolerance for inactivity. Bring appropriate diversions, including books, laptops, tablets, and so forth.</div>
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<i><b>For Your Partner</b></i></div>
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If you're traveling with someone with ADHD, you might need to be proactive in making your travel arrangements and packing. Many of the previous suggestions can apply, but also step back and offer guidance rather than doing it for your companion. Casual reminders rather than demands often go further in creating a pleasant experience. Plan ahead if you think a particular task or item will be missed and help to avoid problems.</div>
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<b><i>For Your Children</i></b></div>
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Forethought goes into just about everything when you travel with children with ADHD, whether you're their parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or guardian. </div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Just as you need to check on medication concerns for yourself, you need to do the same for children in your care, along with any necessary documentation of their disabilities. Talk with the agent booking your travel, and ask about special accommodations or recommendations to make the trip more pleasant for all involved. </div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Always make sure medications are carried in their original containers and that you bring your medical insurance cards and documentation or consent forms. If necessary, ask your child's doctor for suggestions about medication during the holidays.</div>
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>When packing carry-on bags, make sure you have activities for the kids. Coloring and activity books are great for all ages; older children and teens may need a variety of books or magazines. Tablets, iPods or MP3 players, or small game systems can be useful, too. The idea is to keep children occupied, especially when their attention can shift quickly. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMho1rD2DOkzpLM_3qv3iQJN4mKASGZeMmFO9kdwTMBpZWmTN6_7Dp1YRrmdMnxPfro0h1TQAWHKvaIiB1IXa3nPs0k_9nU2yGFeWG_DqyhtBuwWBApsqcBlr29sziRPiw36qXy-qjheQ/s1600/KSH.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMho1rD2DOkzpLM_3qv3iQJN4mKASGZeMmFO9kdwTMBpZWmTN6_7Dp1YRrmdMnxPfro0h1TQAWHKvaIiB1IXa3nPs0k_9nU2yGFeWG_DqyhtBuwWBApsqcBlr29sziRPiw36qXy-qjheQ/s1600/KSH.jpg" /></a></div>
<b><i><br />Karen Sampson Hoffman, MA, is the coordinator of the NRC's Ask the Expert series. She writes from St. Denis, Maryland. <br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;">Another version of this post appeared in </span></i><span style="font-size: large;">Attention <i>magazine. <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Membership/JOIN-CHADD-US-Membership.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a> and receive every issue!</i></span></b></div>
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CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-31616833673225320512015-12-01T08:50:00.000-08:002015-12-01T08:50:05.187-08:00Too Much Screen Time?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When Your Child with ADHD Over-Connects </span><br />
<i><b>guest blog by Martin L. Kutscher, MD, and Natalie Rosin, CASAMHC</b></i><br />
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Do you worry about the amount of time your child with ADHD spends playing videogames? Does your son scream when you try to get him off the computer? Is your daughter honest about her online activities? Does trying to limit your child’s screen time bring about World War III? Just how much screen time is too much? What effect is all of this technology having on your child?<br /><br />The rapid explosion of digital technology in the past fifteen years has led to unprecedented opportunities and challenges for us all. This is particularly true for people with ADHD, who tend to be attracted to the Internet, digital media, and videogames like moths to a bright light.<br /><br />According to a 2013 policy statement from the American Academy of Pediatrics,<br />• Children aged eight to ten spend nearly eight hours a day on media.<br />• Older children and teens spend more than eleven hours a day on media.<br />• Seventy-one percent of children have a TV or Internet device in their room.<br />• One-third of teens send more than a hundred texts per day (largely replacing phone use).<br />• Our children spend more time with media than in school.<br />• Yet, two-thirds of children and teens say that their parents have no media rules.<br /><br />This technology attraction spills over into the classroom, where 62 percent of iGeneration students state that while in class they check their digital devices more frequently than every fifteen minutes. And it’s not just children who are so hooked on their screens: One out of three adults say that they check their mobile device before getting out of bed in the morning.<br /> <br />Children with ADHD seem to be particularly prone to excessive screen time use. After all, it’s not that people with ADHD cannot pay attention—they do that just fine with videogames and Legos. It’s more that they have difficulty sustaining attention to anything that isn’t fascinating. What could be more fascinating than videogames, with their visual graphics, sound effects, action, constant change, immediate feedback, and incentive to get to the next level? What could be a more addicting setup than ready access in your own room to the Internet, with its endless content of information or services for just about any question or desire?<br /><br />People with ADHD tend to require frequent and immediate rewards, which are needs quickly fed by screen-time activities. Each stimulus instantly drops a small bolus of the neurotransmitter dopamine right into the brain’s reward center. No wonder it is such a fight to get our kids off of the computer or console.<br /> <br /><b>The effects of screen-time usage<br /></b>People with ADHD run a much higher risk of Internet addiction than neurotypicals—estimates run as high as twenty-five percent of the ADHD population. Such excessive screen-time use is associated with a multitude of problems. These include troubled relationships with families and friends, poor school/work performance, fatigue, and poor sleep (even the light emanating from a laptop interferes with sleep onset). There may be monetary losses from gaming, shopping, gambling, pornography, etc. There is considerable evidence that a TV in the child’s bedroom increases the risk for obesity, substance abuse, and exposure to sexual content. <br /><br />Technology is also changing the way our students learn, and not always for the better. According to one teacher survey, nearly 90 percent of teachers felt technology has created a distracted generation with short attention spans. Further, constantly turning to digital distractions means that there is no downtime, which interferes with problem solving and creativity. Excessive media use also cuts into free time that could have been utilized for other productive activities.<br /><br />Finally, trying to multitask media with work is inefficient. Current thinking is that what most people call “multi-tasking” is actually “multi-switching.” We switch back and forth between tasks so frequently that we think we are doing more than one thing at once, but we rarely are. You can’t type a text into your smartphone and read a school book at the same time! It actually takes anywhere from one to twenty additional minutes just to get back to where you were when interrupted. Of course, texting while driving should be explicitly forbidden. Even texting while walking (TWW) is dangerous: It results in more injuries (albeit milder ones) per mile than distracted driving.<br /><br /><b>The problems are on a spectrum</b><br /><br />Screen-time problems run along a spectrum of severity. At the mildest end are the problems we perceive among typical, well-functioning children and teens, such as texting multiple times an hour or ignoring friends and family at get-togethers in favor of communicating elsewhere with their smartphone. Then there are the kids whose screen-time activities result in modest family discord and inefficient work, but who are still able to get good grades and participate in other activities such as sports. At the most severe end, there are those who suffer from what can be called a true Internet addiction: an inability to control one’s digital or Internet behavior despite significant resultant problems such as falling grades, withdrawal from friends and activities, and significant family turmoil.<br /> <br />So what distinguishes enthusiasm for an activity from a true addiction? The simplest answer is that healthy enthusiasm adds to life, whereas an addiction detracts from it. It’s not the excessiveness time-wise of the behavior. Rather, it is (a) the individual’s inability to control behavior (b) despite its having negative consequences. Additional features of addiction are withdrawal (including anger/tension/depression when trying to stop); and tolerance (including need for more and better software/hardware/time).<br /><br />Preference for socializing online with “virtual friends” as opposed to direct human interaction is a strong predictor for Internet addiction. Other risk factors include other addictions such as to drugs, family dysfunction, spending more than twenty hours online/week, and strong reactions to parental attempts at limiting access.<br /><br />Estimates of the prevalence of Internet addiction vary widely, based on the criteria used and nationality studied, but the following rates appear to be reasonable estimates:<br />• Adolescents: 4.6 to 4.7 percent<br />• College Students: 13-18.4 percent<br />• General Population: 6-15 percent<br />• ADHD: up to 25 percent<br /><br /><b>Dealing with screen-time problems </b><br /><br />A family meeting to create a technology plan is an excellent tool to use with children aged eight and up. For some families, ensuring a casual and relaxed environment may require a professional.<br /><br />The meeting is a means of improving family cohesiveness. Never come in anger; this is not a forum for discipline. Set content and total screen-time limits, including TV. Schedule times and choices in advance. Address fairness issues with all those involved. Seek a solution where everyone feels their needs are met, if possible. Develop and follow up on consequences. Finally, develop a list of fun activities that don’t use technology.<br /><br />Parents are role models, and must examine and address their own technology habits. Although this doesn’t mean the same rules apply to everyone in the family, all rules need to operate from a similar philosophy. Be sensitive to the message you give your child when you place answering your own text messages or phone calls above paying attention to your child. This can affect his or her sense of self-worth.<br /><br />See below for additional strategies for preventing screen-time problems.<br /><br /><b>Treatment for screen-time addiction</b><br /><br />Total abstinence from technology is not possible in our current society (unlike addictive substances). With those who have a true addiction, therefore, it’s necessary to identify the specific applications that are triggering addiction, and exercise total abstinence from those applications.<br /> <br />Severe problems may require formal therapy, which can be individual or group. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is widely used for substance, depression, anxiety, OCD and other behavioral disorders. Dialectic behavioral therapy (DBT) is a form of CBT with emphasis on validation; that is, accepting uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and behaviors (versus struggling with them). DBT seeks to establish a balance between acceptance and change, and thus helps reach the goal of gradual transformation. DBT also focuses on coping skills, relaxation techniques, and mindfulness. <br /><br />Therapy also aims to promote the individual’s recovery by repairing the damaged relationship, and bringing the family back as a supportive resource. Unfortunately, research has not yet shown any particular therapy to be more effective or useful than any other.<br /><b><br />Strategies for preventing media overuse</b><br /><br />The American Academy of Pediatrics makes the following preventive recommendations:<br /><br />• Discourage electronic media use by children under two years old.<br />• Limit entertainment screen time to less than one to two hours per day.<br />• Keep TV and Internet devices out of the child’s bedroom.<br />• Monitor media use for duration and content.<br />• Co-view media. This also gives rise to the opportunity to discuss issues.<br />• Establish and enforce a family media plan, including technology use at meal time and bedtime “curfew.”<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Paraphrased from the AAP Policy Statement, “Children, Adolescents, and the Media,” published in <i>Pediatrics</i>, November 2013, vol. 132 no. 5; available online at <a href="http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/10/24/peds.2013-2656.full.pdf+htm">http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/10/24/peds.2013-2656.full.pdf+htm</a>.</span><br /><br />Additional simple preventive interventions include:<br /><br />• Take a technology break every fifteen minutes, turning off websites and phone for one to two minutes. Make dinner and homework time screen-free as well, unless an assignment specifically calls for online research. Just knowing that a technology break is coming up soon may help soothe the pain of transient abstinence. <br />• Alternatively, partition the day into different activities: Work/study, social networking, and email sessions.<br />• Close computer windows that are not needed for work.<br />• Turn off phone’s message alert sounds/vibration. Research shows “Out of sight, out of mind,” or more importantly, “In sight, in mind.” <br />• Use an alarm clock or TimeTimer to monitor duration of technology usage.<br />• Teach the skill of “practicing the opposite.” If you want to stay off the computer/smartphone, then do something different!<br />• Set up site filtering and time control software or apps on hardware including desktops, laptops, iPads, and smartphones. Some WiFi routers allow different settings for different users and cover all Internet connections from one central location. See <a href="http://www.familysafemedia.com/">www.FamilySafeMedia.com</a> for specifics.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><b>Martin L. Kutscher, MD, is a board certified pediatric neurologist in Westchester, New York, who specializes in neurobehavioral problems. His website is <a href="http://kidsbehavioralneurology.com/">KidsBehavioralNeurology.com</a>. <br />Natalie Rosin, CASAMHC, is a credentialed substance abuse counselor and mental health specialist in Rye, New York. Her website is <a href="http://natalierosin.com/">natalierosin.com</a>.</b></i></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-85932051135136468002015-11-24T08:22:00.000-08:002015-11-24T08:22:11.446-08:00ADHD & Extended Family Ties<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<b>How to increase understanding and move forward<br /></b></h3>
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<b><i>guest blog by Janette Patterson, MSW, LCMFT, and Larry Maltin, MA</i></b><br />
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As awareness grows, we are better able to address the challenges people with ADHD face at school, at home, and in the workplace. Self-help strategies abound, but the focus is usually on help for the immediate family — the child, mom, dad, and siblings. The impact of ADHD symptoms does not stop with the immediate family, however.<br />
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What about the concerns and reactions of grandparents or uncles and aunts? Research is lacking on the role and dynamics of the extended family when one or more members have ADHD.<br />
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In <i>Taking Charge of ADHD</i>, RussellA. Barkley, PhD, writes: “Parents of children with ADHD also may be deprived of the encouragement, warmth, and assistance of a supportive family. They tell us that they have fewer contacts with their extended family members than in families without children with ADHD, and that these contacts are less helpful to them as parents and more aversive or unpleasant.”<br />
<br />As parents, we want to help our children to become well-functioning and socially successful people. Our own anxieties are sometimes triggered when our children with ADHD act out and misbehave. We desperately want them to behave appropriately and to be accepted.<br />
<br />“Emotional dysregulation” is a term used to describe the struggles that some children with ADHD experience with their feelings. When a situation becomes frustrating, the child's emotional reaction is so intense that he or she feels overwhelmed and reacts with behavior that can range from crying to hysterical sobbing, from whining to screaming, from shutting down to destroying property and harming others. These struggles are debilitating to the child and everyone around.<br />
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We all know those painful and awkward moments when everyone at family gatherings is affected. We feel embarrassed and defensive for our child when he gets reprimanded or described as “spoiled” by a relative, and we feel guilty for being unable to prevent these stressful occurrences.<br /><br />It is painfully clear that misunderstandings, social expectations, unspoken rules, and unresolved family dramas keep us stuck in uncomfortable, maybe even dysfunctional interaction patterns within the extended family.<br />
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How do we respond to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins when our child becomes symptomatic at family functions? How can we advocate for our children, but also validate our extended family members’ experience while respecting their opinions and decisions?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsEBr9ARv6BTdsZDDYwJYtLfr6gEl0TArN7nW0Xl6uyI-zXLaj41HIsZo2QTsScpQxlPclky99qyfXPW4cchIjI4LuEux6P79aF88RDny7oPXBSqIGgaLknV-FVe8Qj_psgeQGt6d7D-M/s1600/689057.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsEBr9ARv6BTdsZDDYwJYtLfr6gEl0TArN7nW0Xl6uyI-zXLaj41HIsZo2QTsScpQxlPclky99qyfXPW4cchIjI4LuEux6P79aF88RDny7oPXBSqIGgaLknV-FVe8Qj_psgeQGt6d7D-M/s320/689057.jpg" width="231" /></a><b>Strategies for coping and healing</b><br />
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Much of the research and literature on dealing with ADHD can be helpful for educating our extended family. What strategies make the most sense in managing a family gathering so that our child (and everyone else) can participate and feel comfortable?<br />
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<b>1. Educate the family about ADHD.</b> Remember when you first learned about ADHD? What it was like when you were finally able to understand why your son was unable to finish his homework assignments, or why your daughter couldn’t make it through birthday parties without fighting with everyone?<br />
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The more you learned about how ADHD affects emotional reactions and behavior patterns, the more you were able to reach out to your child and support him or her in finding workable coping strategies to make things better. It’s the same with extended family. The more we can speak openly with them about how ADHD affects our child (and us) in a way that is understandable, the more we can have meaningful conversations and explore problem solving skills.<br />
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<b>2. Develop self-awareness.</b> Find a way to slow down so that you can take a moment to check in with yourself. Practicing mindfulness, for example, helps us become aware of how we feel in the moment, and is a key element for emotional healing and building of coping strategies and skills. For some, this means finding a word or phrase to help them remember to check in with themselves. For others, it might be deep breathing exercises to facilitate the process of self-awareness.<br />
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<b>3. Practice self-advocacy.</b> While advocating for our child, we are also aware of our own struggles and experiences. We are aware of our child’s vulnerability to being judged, and that our child is not able to self-advocate. So we need to speak for our family member who has ADHD: “Please remember that it is really hard for [<i>fill in child's name</i>] to sit still—especially when the energy in the room is high. He gets really hyper when people around him are excited.”<br />
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In addition to reminding our extended family members, we also need to address our own struggles: “I get so nervous when I see [<i>child's name</i>] become all revved up. It’s really helpful when you can reassure me that you won’t overreact when he gets loud.”<br />
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In order to be effective in advocating for our child, we must check in with our family member and make sure that he or she is able to listen. How many times have you experienced rejection and rebuffing from an angry family member? “I don’t care that your son has ADHD! He just broke my flower vase. You have to control him better!”<br />
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<b>4. Explore alternative or new ways of communication. </b>We need to explain to our family members that our child’s behavior is not about them, but is directly related to our child’s inability to regulate his or her emotions in the moment. It takes practice, patience and flexibility to work with these highly charged, emotional situations.<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><i><b>Be proactive.</b></i> Prepare for the next event by having conversations with your relatives before the family gathering.<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><i><b>Brainstorm with your relatives.</b></i> Include them in the process of exploring how potential stressors can be avoided or addressed before an incident happens.<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><i><b>Be aware of your relatives’ concerns and feelings.</b></i><br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><i><b>Stay positive!</b></i><br />
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<b>5. Utilize the best ways to “defuse” behavioral disruptions at family gatherings. </b>Even the best intentions are not always enough. Accidents happen — our child with ADHD can get triggered and disaster unfolds. For example, what could have been done differently in preparing for grandma’s birthday party?<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><i><b>Do “prep work.”</b></i> Talk with your child before the party and come up with a game plan if things get out of hand: “[<i>child's name</i>], if you start getting all riled up, I will give you a sign that we need to step out of the room so that we can calm down. What sign is better for you? Should I just call your name or should I walk up to you and tap you on the shoulder?” For some kids and for some occasions, it might make sense to negotiate a “deal.” For example, “It’s really important for grandma that everybody shows their best behavior when we celebrate her birthday. If you can stay at the dining room table until we have eaten the cake, then you can get some computer time when we get home.”<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b><i>Find allies. </i></b>Before the party you could find some benevolent family member(s) who could jump in to support you in a time of need. For example, grandpa could come to the rescue when your child is unraveling: “Hey [<i>child's name</i>], let’s go in the living room. I want to show you something.”<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b><i>Be prepared.</i> </b>Keep an eye on your child to check when the behavior is beginning to escalate so that you can step in before it gets out of control. Sometimes you might just need to give a quick reminder: “Hey [<i>child's name</i>], indoor voice, please!” Or you might offer him a distraction: “Hey [<i>child's name</i>], let’s go outside and shoot some basketball hoops!”<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b><i>Advocate for your child and yourself.</i></b> Speak up and explain to your family members what is happening and how they can help when your child is in crisis. If your child is in a full-blown temper tantrum, you could say: “Sorry, folks, when the party gets noisy, [<i>child's name</i>] gets overwhelmed. We will see if we can get ourselves calmed down in the other room. Thanks for being understanding.”<br />
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<b>Moving forward<br /></b><br />
As parents of children affected by ADHD, it is our responsibility to develop understanding and mutually acceptable support within the extended family. It is up to you to initiate the conversation. You know your child and yourself. When you reach out to your family members and invite them to explore how you can have a more satisfying family experience, you are creating an opportunity for change.<br />
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As James L. Karustis, PhD, coauthor of <i>Homework Success for Children with ADHD</i>, told us: “Extended family members can be a surprisingly excellent source of support. Be clear in communicating what you need from the family member, and remember what you need is likely to change over time. You may need logistical support, such as a family member pitching in to help with babysitting and homework. You may need a person to vent to from time to time.”<br />
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Advocating for and supporting your family member with ADHD is an ongoing process. With practice, patience, understanding, and consistency, we can better help our child with ADHD, our immediate family, and ourselves. We can also strengthen the ties to the loved ones in our extended circles of family and friends.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkgMyGGR47abidnEwUxDu6ovbLFtrLF6hY_MpJLepQ6GKjQW4qoBoiAOnnMsAF4b5JrIRoFH20v_UEZVPE5O4nqvqSW1SiGNbZ5ce4-gRy1GMBqeqBljztflOh4tnpsDVoAhixKyGHa-I/s1600/JanettePatterson_sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkgMyGGR47abidnEwUxDu6ovbLFtrLF6hY_MpJLepQ6GKjQW4qoBoiAOnnMsAF4b5JrIRoFH20v_UEZVPE5O4nqvqSW1SiGNbZ5ce4-gRy1GMBqeqBljztflOh4tnpsDVoAhixKyGHa-I/s1600/JanettePatterson_sm.jpg" /></a></div>
<b><i>Janette Patterson, MSW, LCMFT, is the co-coordinator of the Montgomery County, Maryland, chapter of CHADD, and a family therapist.</i></b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-q_27b2RLrSE6UeWyGfC1olzeDFr-QtFxcjU5UeM6YjqER6c-8A3wyinQHhUBtnqrtVfxXWqrZiI1O9XHmVCuXektKRvQHmJfkm95DdHOMZmgp4lwW16h8aIIn1pnj0Cka7eRk5a4c2M/s1600/LarryMaltin_sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-q_27b2RLrSE6UeWyGfC1olzeDFr-QtFxcjU5UeM6YjqER6c-8A3wyinQHhUBtnqrtVfxXWqrZiI1O9XHmVCuXektKRvQHmJfkm95DdHOMZmgp4lwW16h8aIIn1pnj0Cka7eRk5a4c2M/s1600/LarryMaltin_sm.jpg" /></a><b><i>Larry Maltin, MA, is program coordinator for Elkins Park Pennsylvania CHADD. </i></b><br />
<b><i>This blog is adapted from their June 2014 </i>Attention<i> magazine article. See also their articles in the current October 2015 issue of </i>Attention<i>. <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Membership/JOIN-CHADD-US-Membership.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a> and receive every issue!</i></b><br />
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CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-13962875164834425242015-10-20T10:31:00.000-07:002015-10-20T11:15:21.174-07:00More Wit & Wisdom for Naysayer Encounters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq7QA7VoIA1CrUJ6MijgM00OydGoM0ALIblXpas2AG08fFivqCuu588in2hizXKA_VHO9HoUUvykcK8gUL5xqS5YWFZe2jVcW592qm4A-KuGn2ZwTJBZh238cuN5v1TGEcBbSyOd6qU1g/s1600/FTF_Naysayers_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq7QA7VoIA1CrUJ6MijgM00OydGoM0ALIblXpas2AG08fFivqCuu588in2hizXKA_VHO9HoUUvykcK8gUL5xqS5YWFZe2jVcW592qm4A-KuGn2ZwTJBZh238cuN5v1TGEcBbSyOd6qU1g/s320/FTF_Naysayers_2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><i>guest blog by Marie S. Paxson</i></b><br />
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When children are younger, it is somewhat easier to disclose that they have ADHD. Some experts feel that keeping a child's ADHD secret contributes to stigma. I’ve heard a special education attorney assert that children may think they have something shameful if during school meetings they hear their parents ask whether information is kept confidential or if the IEP is kept in a locked file cabinet.<br />
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The way their peers reacted to my children’s ADHD surprised me a few times. Once a group of boys let my son use a dictionary during a Scrabble game because they knew that spelling was difficult for him. Who would have thought of that — an accommodation for a board game!<br />
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When my children became teenagers, I felt they were entitled to confidentiality, and they could choose whom to tell and whom not to tell. Some teens are more comfortable about their ADHD diagnosis than others — I’ve heard psychologists say that during a treatment session a teen will answer a cell phone with <i>"Dude, I'm in therapy. Can I call you right back?"</i><br />
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When you disclose, you may be surprised at how many other people also have the disorder and would like to talk to you about it. But if you are holding back, then your instinct may be telling you that you are dealing with some potentially judgmental people.<br />
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Last week I wrote about typical scenarios people with ADHD face when they are put in a position to defend the disorder and how they manage it. Here are some additional examples.<br />
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<b>Doubts about adult diagnosis: "You didn't have a problem as a kid, why do you have this now?"</b><br />
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Depending on how old an adult is now, the diagnosis may not have been very common back when he or she was a child or adolescent. Baby boomers certainly had the symptoms, but didn't receive accurate diagnosis and treatment. But regardless of a person’s generation, many supports were in place during their childhood years. Because they had fewer responsibilities and managed fewer details, their childhood ADHD was easier to manage.<br />
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<b>Assertions like: “If more kids played outside, there would be fewer diagnoses of ADHD, which is caused because kids watch TV too much.”</b><br />
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There have been some studies indicating that children with ADHD see improvement when they participate in outdoor activities. John Ratey’s book <i>Spark</i> looks at the effects of exercise on the brain, and <i>Last Child in the Woods</i> by Richard Louv makes a strong case for the importance of unstructured outdoor activities for child development.<br />
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You could respond, “There have been headlines about too much TV causing trouble with attention span and distraction, but they were talking about the distractibility we all struggle with. A diagnosis of ADHD means that symptoms of inattention and inability to tune out distraction are severe enough to be an impairment and occur in a variety of settings. That’s very different from the effects of too much technology.”<br />
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<b>What if the naysayer is your spouse? And doesn’t want your child labeled—or treated?</b><br />
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People are afraid of labels, sometimes with good reason. But the child has ADHD whether we acknowledge it or not. Often the best route is to have a third party try to educate your spouse; most likely he or she is tired of hearing it from you.<br />
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You could try to have your spouse talk it over with someone he or she respects or go to a well-regarded professional. Perhaps you could introduce some reading material on the subject. When I was a new mom and wanted my husband to read articles on parenting, someone told me to take all the sports magazines out of the bathroom and replace them with books about babies.<br />
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You could also bargain for open-mindedness on this topic in exchange for the same deal on the topic of your spouse’s choice. For instance, your spouse will read some literature or watch a video on ADHD for a specific amount of time and you will do the same on the topic of his or her choice.<br />
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I have found adults with ADHD to be a good source of insight about childhood issues. Often they inspire a sense of urgency to address ADHD symptoms in childhood because of the impact that the lack of a timely diagnosis had on their lives. There are several books and videos by adults with ADHD on the market, and adults with ADHD often speak at CHADD meetings and conferences.<br />
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<i style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"><b><i><b> </b></i></b></i><i style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-zsMz60Zk74JbUY6ZA8WTC174jp4NSjjAhyNVYndt1JaC8ytq0bkQRIw2I0qER2tdX3SfoNh_UKqzfcaKza33aVACHoMsYHmWOjLrcwwmbcBYCPS-8HYHYndvMAVunytJjMreQNuwZVE/s1600/Paxson.jpg" style="clear: left; color: #888888; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-zsMz60Zk74JbUY6ZA8WTC174jp4NSjjAhyNVYndt1JaC8ytq0bkQRIw2I0qER2tdX3SfoNh_UKqzfcaKza33aVACHoMsYHmWOjLrcwwmbcBYCPS-8HYHYndvMAVunytJjMreQNuwZVE/s1600/Paxson.jpg" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border: 1px solid rgb(238, 238, 238); box-shadow: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.0980392) 1px 1px 5px; padding: 5px; position: relative;" /></a>Marie Paxson, a past president of CHADD, is the mother of two grown children with ADHD. Over the years, she has been on the receiving end of many myths, misconceptions, and judgmental remarks. Sometimes these were handled with diplomacy, sometimes not. </b></i><i style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px; line-height: 18.48px;"><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-zsMz60Zk74JbUY6ZA8WTC174jp4NSjjAhyNVYndt1JaC8ytq0bkQRIw2I0qER2tdX3SfoNh_UKqzfcaKza33aVACHoMsYHmWOjLrcwwmbcBYCPS-8HYHYndvMAVunytJjMreQNuwZVE/s1600/Paxson.jpg" style="clear: left; color: #888888; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-decoration: none;"></a></b></i></div>
CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-72725412772505775722015-10-13T10:07:00.000-07:002015-10-13T10:09:29.205-07:00Dealing with Naysayers, Part 1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgou3nUi5n-rWsRYgxmUIj59TyEq4IsqwRusb3Rb6Kz0bbfrRTVIfCtRWvYLVxvBcKJxlRKAKg64TSP5Ai6-sRMzmgr_q9Cx7d57OgwDn0i8StOa6fMKR9ov3mcPHeKfCIczKTR0UG6zRU/s1600/FTF_Naysayers.bmp" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgou3nUi5n-rWsRYgxmUIj59TyEq4IsqwRusb3Rb6Kz0bbfrRTVIfCtRWvYLVxvBcKJxlRKAKg64TSP5Ai6-sRMzmgr_q9Cx7d57OgwDn0i8StOa6fMKR9ov3mcPHeKfCIczKTR0UG6zRU/s320/FTF_Naysayers.bmp" width="175" /></a><i><b>by Marie S. Paxson</b></i><br />
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It is really hard to deal with naysayers, isn't it? I often have to decide is if trying to convince them is worth my time and energy. We all know people who have strong political opinions and will not listen to any other points of view.<br />
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Would your time be better spent managing the ADHD instead of trying to convince someone who will never hear you? Can you limit the amount of time you have to spend with people like this? Shorten the duration of mandatory visits— stop in for dessert at holidays instead of the entire meal? If these are people you are required to spend a lot of time with, can you counterbalance by spending time with supportive people?<br />
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These are the questions I ask myself when I'm deciding whether to respond to naysayers. The trick is to balance whom to tell about your ADHD and how to say it in a way that gives them a better understanding. And you may want to tailor your responses to the specific remark made, as in the examples below.<br />
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In business circles, the rule of thumb is “praise in public; correct in private.” So if you need to let someone close to you know that their remarks are hurtful to you, it is best to do this in private, rather than as an angry reaction in front of others. At the very least you may be able to get the other person to agree to disagree and not make these remarks in your presence.<br />
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<b>"ADD is just an excuse!" or "Everyone is ADD!"</b><br />
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I might say something like, “I probably would have said something similar BEFORE my child (or self, spouse, friend, etc.) was diagnosed with ADHD. I feel very differently now.” Or I might acknowledge their perspective by saying something like, "I know it sometimes seems that way. But look at the number of organizations that have determined that ADHD is real. Real science defines ADHD as real disorder.”<br />
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"ADHD is an explanation, but not an excuse" is a response that demonstrates that while there may be occasional slip-ups and glitches, the person is actively managing the disorder and doing the best he or she can.<br />
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And sometimes I say something along the lines of, "How fortunate that you aren't affected by the disease and have the luxury of disbelief." You might ask them if they would have this reaction to a physical illness.<br />
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Perhaps you can use an analogy to help others display more sensitivity and compassion: “It is so hard when those with Alzheimer’s face memory and organization issues toward the end of their lives. Can you imagine if you had these struggles from day one?”<br />
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<b>Rude comments about medication, such as: "Of course your house is quiet! You drug all your kids!" </b><br />
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Sometimes I like to use the word “compassion” in my response. No one likes to be thought of as uncompassionate. And being compassionate doesn’t necessarily mean that one agrees or approve of something, just that one is taking a nonjudgmental stance.<br />
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You could perhaps point out that the individual has a documented medical condition that is being helped by medication. You can point out that using the word "drugs" in that fashion is very stigmatizing. Not to mention that a true friend wouldn't want your life to be any more difficult. <br />
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<b>"Others have been successful with ADHD, why haven't you?"</b><br />
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The general public doesn't understand that ADHD has "severities." People tend to understand only the type of ADHD that they’ve been exposed to. Some people have mild ADHD and no co-occurring conditions while others have a severe case of ADHD and very limiting co-occurring conditions.<br /><br />
It can be helpful to point out that people with ADHD have the same rate of having successful lives as the rest of the population. And each individual defines success in his or her own unique way.<br />
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Analogies can show similar situations. If you know the person has been affected by any of these conditions, it can help to highlight the individual circumstances of those with ADHD. You might say:<br />
• Some people manage diabetes with diet and exercise; others need an insulin pump installed in their bodies. <br />
• Some people with asthma occasionally use an inhaler; others need to be hospitalized. <br />
• Some people with arthritis can do yoga and take nutritional supplements, while others are in a wheelchair. <br />
• Some cancers can be managed with watchful waiting, while others require aggressive treatment or surgery. <br />
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These are just a few common scenarios and possible responses. I’ll share more next week.<br />
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<i><b><i><b> </b></i></b></i><i><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-zsMz60Zk74JbUY6ZA8WTC174jp4NSjjAhyNVYndt1JaC8ytq0bkQRIw2I0qER2tdX3SfoNh_UKqzfcaKza33aVACHoMsYHmWOjLrcwwmbcBYCPS-8HYHYndvMAVunytJjMreQNuwZVE/s1600/Paxson.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-zsMz60Zk74JbUY6ZA8WTC174jp4NSjjAhyNVYndt1JaC8ytq0bkQRIw2I0qER2tdX3SfoNh_UKqzfcaKza33aVACHoMsYHmWOjLrcwwmbcBYCPS-8HYHYndvMAVunytJjMreQNuwZVE/s1600/Paxson.jpg" /></a>Marie Paxson, a past president of CHADD, is the mother of two grown children with ADHD. Over the years, she has been on the receiving end of many myths, misconceptions, and judgmental remarks. Sometimes these were handled with diplomacy, sometimes not. </b></i><i><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-zsMz60Zk74JbUY6ZA8WTC174jp4NSjjAhyNVYndt1JaC8ytq0bkQRIw2I0qER2tdX3SfoNh_UKqzfcaKza33aVACHoMsYHmWOjLrcwwmbcBYCPS-8HYHYndvMAVunytJjMreQNuwZVE/s1600/Paxson.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></b></i><br />
<br />CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-29118240257539097882015-09-22T10:37:00.002-07:002015-09-22T10:37:49.124-07:00Redefine Perfect: Handle Homework Hassles IV<i><b>by Meghan S. Leahy, MS, NCC</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN0aTZEsjsIq9RWWfczMRjh2_ygJH_GtV9hEiEXruBMH9EuvwMi7namrv9J5V4FsUKKNwkD-7PyJO87aVmm5DGIRhDtatjBOpBFEzjaRnXJOknT6kyohYuxFcr3hU8a9U_8LefWygtBdU/s1600/E003060.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjN0aTZEsjsIq9RWWfczMRjh2_ygJH_GtV9hEiEXruBMH9EuvwMi7namrv9J5V4FsUKKNwkD-7PyJO87aVmm5DGIRhDtatjBOpBFEzjaRnXJOknT6kyohYuxFcr3hU8a9U_8LefWygtBdU/s320/E003060.JPG" width="320" /></a>Homework can be very stressful for both adults and students. The best approach is to find a system that works for everyone and make it a habit. Discovering the system that works best can be tricky. It takes experimentation, creativity, and patience. Also, the system needs to be flexible, re-examined, and tweaked over time. <br />
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For students with ADHD, the key is flexible structure. Adults have to remember that it is their job to implement this structure for students in a positive manner. It is the student’s job to engage in the homework process and complete the work. This is an important relationship. Adults need to find a balance and model productive behaviors while allowing responsibility for quality homework completion to remain with the student. Students are empowered by adults who can honestly and enthusiastically help them discover success in small, continuous steps.<br />
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Here are a few helpful tips:<br />
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<b>• Make a plan.</b> Know what is required; awareness is key. Each night, have the student make a list of all the work that needs to be done, for that night and for the week. Discuss a plan of attack for completion. How will the work be broken down?<br />
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<b>• Use your words and laugh a lot. </b>Research has proven that positive reinforcement is the most successful way to motivate students with ADHD. Avoid negative language and always ask open-ended questions—remember to wait for a reply. Realistically, not too many students enjoy homework. Don’t judge. Address the fact that it is a reality that must be accepted and talk it through. Some students need to vent. Let them discuss how hard life can be—as long as they are talking while they work.<br />
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<b>• Redefine “perfect.” </b>There is no such thing as perfect, so help your students to set reasonable goals that will make them (and you) “perfectly” happy. At the end of each marking period, reward progress, examine setbacks and set new goals. <br />
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<i><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7JCo4gUNNNeg1u4HKODlm4bHFg-iLaavxuCsSaOJklZZCyB5r4vONKkQAuLZpSnjv_LkzSK9Y2QK42GWa9uPkgl_w-a1kp6E0MOp2PSTGX63hZaCEd7aTcaOjExTVRLZVkRshF4sLwt0/s1600/msl-sm.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7JCo4gUNNNeg1u4HKODlm4bHFg-iLaavxuCsSaOJklZZCyB5r4vONKkQAuLZpSnjv_LkzSK9Y2QK42GWa9uPkgl_w-a1kp6E0MOp2PSTGX63hZaCEd7aTcaOjExTVRLZVkRshF4sLwt0/s1600/msl-sm.png" /></a>Meghan S. Leahy, MS, NCC, is the founder and director of Leahy Learning and </b></i><i><b><i><b>coauthored the medical textbook </b></i></b></i><b><b>Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorders Throughout the Lifespan</b></b><i><b><i><b> (Western Schools, 2014).</b></i> As a clinical associate at the Penn Adult ADHD Treatment and Research Program at the University of Pennsylvania, she worked with college students and adults. She has also been a clinic director at Lindamood-Bell Learning Processes.</b></i><i><b><br /></b></i>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-90645512950289053032015-09-15T08:41:00.000-07:002015-09-15T08:41:45.322-07:00Get Support & Communicate: Handle Homework Hassles III <b>GET SUPPORT WITH HOMEWORK<br /><br /><i>by Thomas J. Power, PhD</i></b><br />
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Debate continues about the value of homework and whether homework should be assigned to students, particularly in the elementary grades. Although many arguments have been made in favor of homework, three are especially important. <br />
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First, family involvement in education clearly has been shown to have a positive effect on children’s performance in school. Homework provides an opportunity for families to be involved in their children’s education and to help their children to do well in school. Second, the quality of the family-school relationship is critical for school success. Homework is a natural means of family-school collaboration and provides ongoing opportunities for parents and teachers to connect with each other. Third, when students transition into high school and college, they generally need good work habits to be able to work effectively on their own. Homework provides an opportunity for students to develop independent study skills.<br />
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The most important question is not whether to assign homework but how to support families with homework. The following are a few points to consider:<br />
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>It is critical for homework assignments to be adjusted so that students experience high rates of success.</b> Parents have an important role in negotiating with teachers the right amount and type of homework.<br />
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>Homework can be a battleground that has negative effects on student motivation to learn and the quality of the parent-child relationship.</b> Many parents need training to design a homework routine and use positive reinforcement strategies that will be effective. School guidance counselors and your child’s doctor may be able to offer referrals to a professional who can offer this service.<br />
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>Homework assignments can be overwhelming to children and their parents.</b> It is usually a good idea to break up homework into manageable chunks or units and to set goals for completion and accuracy for each unit. Subsequently, children can earn positive reinforcement for being able to achieve established goals.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ4po-NjcQF2MQoVKYxOFxvL4boiB7bD-DlqUH9EotdP6U8MG4u_WTJMhGj2bR4G-Xk3AVKh5EgI4J8bIAQSiUXw64sy_p2wtzGGB0w4XcpfefGYE2B6dA1psD0cMEqDz4FHST9thqa7s/s1600/power-thomas_sm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ4po-NjcQF2MQoVKYxOFxvL4boiB7bD-DlqUH9EotdP6U8MG4u_WTJMhGj2bR4G-Xk3AVKh5EgI4J8bIAQSiUXw64sy_p2wtzGGB0w4XcpfefGYE2B6dA1psD0cMEqDz4FHST9thqa7s/s1600/power-thomas_sm.jpg" /></a><b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Thomas J. Power, PhD, is professor of pediatrics and education at the University of Pennsylvania and director of the Center for Management of ADHD at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. He is a former member of CHADD's professional advisory board. He is one of the coauthors of </i>Homework Success for Children with ADHD: A Family-School Intervention Program <i>(Guilford Press, 2001).</i></span></b><br />
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<b><br /><br /><br /><br />COMMUNICATE ABOUT STRUGGLES </b><br />
<b><i><br />by Courtney Calio, MSEd</i></b><br />
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Students with ADHD feel overwhelmed with the idea of homework. Work outside of the school day requires time management, focus, and self-regulation—all skills that do not come easily for those fighting ADHD. Not to mention that the required task could be difficult, in a content area of little interest, or seen by the child as pointless. These possible culprits are at the core of the all-too-familiar scene: fighting and crying over homework with your child at the kitchen table, plugging through one spelling word or math fact at a time.<br />
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The reality is that all children of this generation are required to sustain a daily routine that requires intense academic rigor. Eligible content and high-stakes standardized testing leave little room in the school day to release extra energy or engage in self-selected learning activities. Unfortunately, there is little reprieve from this routine for many children at dismissal time. The transition from school to home, usually with well-deserved extracurricular activities jammed in between, creates a difficult dilemma. How do you explain to your child who has ADHD that he or she must be focused all day at school to do his or her best work, but then must also refocus at home to do more schoolwork?<br />
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As an elementary educator, I have come to realize that only so much can be expected at home from all children, that the smallest modifications can reap huge rewards, and that without communication (from teacher, parent and child) the battle is never won. My advice to parents of children with ADHD:<br />
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>You must communicate with your child's teacher about homework.</b> Determine the exact purpose of the homework. Is the teacher open to differentiating the assignment to meet the strengths of your student? Your child's teacher will not understand any struggles going on at home unless you communicate them and work together to develop possible alternatives.<br />
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>Consider your child's learning style.</b> Is your child a great artist, musician, or athlete? Does your child love technology? Seek out ways to complete a reading log or memorize spelling words and math facts that involve your child's natural strengths, known as multiple intelligences in the world of education. Find activities that are enjoyable but meaningful and produce the same results.<br />
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•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><b>Stay positive and involve your child in open dialogue.</b> Involve your child in discussions with the teacher and demonstrate how to communicate and voice struggles. Your child knows he or she has ADHD and it will always present challenges in life. There will be many times when modifications can't be made and when one just has to get the job done. Explain this, each and every time. Show your child that you are advocating for him or her, that you understand, and that learning how to cope and overcome will make him or her stronger.<br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />Courtney Calio, MSEd, teaches fifth grade in the Kennett Consolidated School District in Pennsylvania.</span></b></i><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Trebuchet, Verdana, sans-serif; line-height: 18.48px;"><span style="font-size: large;">Earlier versions appeared in <i>Attention</i> magazine. <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Membership/JOIN-CHADD-US-Membership.aspx" style="color: #888888; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a> and receive every issue!</span></b><br />
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CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-47467515151465413092015-09-08T09:42:00.000-07:002015-09-08T10:28:27.046-07:00Establish the Homework Ritual: Handle Homework Hassles, Part II<i><b>by Jim Karustis, PhD</b></i><br />
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Many years ago I discovered that homework problems can truly rip families apart, and that is no exaggeration. Common complaints include:<br />
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<li> “My kid will argue for six hours about doing homework that would take her fifteen minutes!”</li>
<li> “He says he does his homework at school, then I get hit with surprises at teacher conference time.”</li>
<li>“My child really does try, but homework seems to take up all of her time every night.”</li>
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Homework can be a silent problem. Many students struggle while doing their homework at home, but as long as they finally complete the work and submit it, the teacher may not even realize that there is a problem. Many well-meaning parents gradually find themselves taking over the lion’s share of homework responsibilities, out of fear that their children will be penalized for incomplete work. <br />
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If your child is experiencing significant homework problems, review the basics of what we call the homework ritual. Get clear on the rules yourself, then review them with your child and post them prominently in your home. <br />
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As much as possible, homework should begin at the same time each day. There should be a designated, distraction-minimized location. Don’t believe it when your child says he can pay attention better when the television is on — turn it off. Some children do fare better, however, when there is some subdued music in the background — mainly for rote tasks. The homework location should be virtually a sacred spot, set aside only for homework, so that your child can keep materials there and not confuse the location with other activities.<br />
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If these elements of the homework ritual have been problematic, then I suggest that you implement an incentive system that targets the troublesome homework-related behaviors — for example, fifteen minutes earned for her favorite video game for beginning homework with one reminder. <br />
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The next issue is to keep separate and distinct your roles as homework manager and homework tutor. Managerial duties include the structure of homework time and making sure you know what your child has to do for homework. Once you are confident your child understands the directions, then leave the homework station. Inform your child that you will check back later, but that you expect that he will have completed <i>X</i> number of problems. The assistance with the actual instructional material can come later. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3C0Io4Q7OSYBpKpU2ea3_5yjusiM_bpJ3v4v58pA-O68Eepj-bPWtaICX8f52nRMHMTexRPXFtT0c62qu1Y0-tphtMJepwij_RbOlUiM4XpzW4OBaitF6DlXorz60GNeoGmsSUSjD0qI/s1600/P2P+070.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3C0Io4Q7OSYBpKpU2ea3_5yjusiM_bpJ3v4v58pA-O68Eepj-bPWtaICX8f52nRMHMTexRPXFtT0c62qu1Y0-tphtMJepwij_RbOlUiM4XpzW4OBaitF6DlXorz60GNeoGmsSUSjD0qI/s320/P2P+070.jpg" width="320" /></a>All students should use homework assignment books. Most schools now have websites where teachers can post assignments. While these may greatly reduce the importance of pen-and-paper assignment books, they have variable reliability for some students. If compliance with consistently using an assignment book has been a problem for your child, you may wish to ask the teachers to sign the book on a daily basis. On days when there is no assignment, teachers would write "no homework" and sign off on it. If your child is one of those who says she has completed her homework at school, then make it clear that privileges at home are contingent upon her bringing the work home for you to compare against what is in the assignment book. <br />
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If you have these elements in place and still experience significant problems, it may be time to request a meeting of the school’s Instructional Support Team (private schools have equivalent teams with varying names). The IST can assist with basic interventions regarding homework and related issues, and can also begin the process of exploring the possibility of whether your child is receiving instruction consistent with her current level of functioning. For students with ADHD, requesting reduced homework demands is a common and reasonable intervention. <br />
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Homework can be put in its place for what it is meant to be, which is a reinforcement of classroom instruction. If it is dominating home life, then try the modifications outlined above, and consider seeking assistance from the IST or a qualified psychologist with expertise in school issues. <br />
<b><span style="font-size: medium;"><br />An earlier version of this post appeared in <i>Attention</i> magazine. <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Membership/JOIN-CHADD-US-Membership.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a> and receive every issue!</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>A psychologist in private practice, James Lorenzo Karustis, PhD, is a member of the professional advisory board for Chester County/Main Line CHADD. He coauthored </i>Homework Success for Children with ADHD: A Family-School Intervention Program<i> (Guilford Press, 2001).</i></b></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-84678280924220929212015-09-01T10:34:00.000-07:002015-09-08T09:10:44.905-07:00Handle Homework Hassles, Part I<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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With schools back in session, we know you want to prepare for the homework blues before they become nightly battles. For the next few weeks, we'll share advice from experts, many of whom are first and foremost parents of children with ADHD. Some have additional expertise as educators, psychologists, social workers, or pediatricians. Let us know what other topics you'd like to read about!<br />
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<b>INTERVENTIONS THAT BUILD LIFELONG HABITS</b><br />
<i><b>by Maureen A. McQuiggan, EdD</b></i><br />
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Tips and tricks for surviving the homework wars fill volumes. Strategies intended to “help” with homework often leave both parent and child feeling like they are just adding to the workload. The real key to success with homework rests in identifying strategies that work for all homework all the time. Here are three basic interventions that get the job done and build valuable lifelong habits:<br />
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<li><b>Process is more important than product.</b> In recent years, educators have perfected the art of outlining explicitly the product they expect from students. Rubrics and assignment contracts spell out clearly what teachers expect to see handed in. The missing link often rests with the process. Help your child get from “I haven’t even thought about the assignment” to handing in a quality product by creating process cards. Together with your child, outline clear and simple steps to completing the task. Cards for tasks such as learning new vocabulary and outlining reading materials can be used repeatedly to build both confidence and good work habits. Start each step with a motivational check box that can be ticked off for a sense of accomplishment.</li>
<li><b>All reading assignments must be active.</b> Asking a child with ADHD to simply read a chapter for homework is like asking him or her to watch grass grow — many will comply, but in the end the grass and child remain unchanged. If reading assignments are not active, the brain is not engaged, attention wanders, and learning does not take place. Active reading strategies can involve asking students to locate key ideas in the reading, color coding answers to the end-of-chapter questions, or creating questions based on the reading. </li>
<li><b>Build basic skills.</b> Basic skills are the gifts that keep on giving. Devoting a chunk of time in the summer to targeted basic skills practice such as increasing reading fluency, improving written language skills, or committing math facts to memory will help build your child’s automaticity. Students who read more fluently, compute with speed and accuracy, and write with ease will realize the benefits across all academic tasks.</li>
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<b>HIRE HOMEWORK HELPERS</b><br />
<b><i>by Sheila Grant, MS, RN</i></b><br />
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As a parent, I have experienced the stress and tension of trying to get my kids to complete their homework. When you break it down, the steps required to complete homework can be especially challenging for a student with ADHD:<br />
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<ol>
<li>Figure out the assignment. (Big problem, because it is not always written down.)</li>
<li>Do you have the right materials to complete assignment? (Is the book at home?)</li>
<li>Do you have an understanding of what is required? (Your child may have the assignment, but does not really know what is required.)</li>
<li>Complete the assignment. (This is the hard part.)</li>
<li>Hand in the assignment. (How many times does your child finally complete homework, only to leave it on kitchen table?)</li>
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After many stressful nights, tears, and fights, hiring a homework helper was the best thing I ever did for my family when my kids were in elementary and middle school. I hired many wonderful college students and graduate students over the years. Some were studying to be special education teachers.<br />
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Once or twice a week, the homework helper sat in the kitchen with my child and supervised homework. The job included going through the backpack to find all of the errant papers, checking assignment books, working on organization, and making sure the assignments were complete and put away in the backpack. I was able to prepare dinner quietly; there were no fights, and my children felt a sense of accomplishment and confidence in their ability to do the work.<br />
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Homework helpers do not cost nearly as much as a tutor; figure on paying between $8 and $15 per hour. Here are my tips:<br />
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<li><b>If you have a university near you, try posting an ad. </b>There are always students who need jobs and are perfect for elementary age through high school. Mature high school students would work well for elementary-age children.</li>
<li><b>Be prepared to change homework helpers if they do not work out.</b> Look for one that is very organized, very kind, and comfortable setting limits with your child. For example, if you asked my son if he had any homework, he would frequently say no because he simply forgot. The effective homework helper did not stop there, but went through the backpack and the assignment book and almost always found something that needed to be done, even if it was simply organizing school materials or reviewing material. </li>
<li><b>Ask for an extra set of books to be kept at home.</b> This accommodation should be a part of the child’s IEP or 504 Plan to ensure you get that extra set of books.</li>
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<b><span style="font-size: medium;">An earlier version of this post appeared in <i>Attention</i> magazine. <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Membership/JOIN-CHADD-US-Membership.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a> and receive every issue!</span></b><br />
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<b><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Maureen A. McQuiggan, EdD, is d</span></i></b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>irector of curriculum and professional development </i></b></span><b><i><span style="font-size: x-small;">for the Radnor Township School District in Radnor, Pennsylvania, and an adjunct professor in special education at Immaculata University. She is a member of the professional advisory board for Chester County/Main Line CHADD and the parent of two children affected by ADHD.</span></i></b><br />
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<b><i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />Sheila Grant, MS, RN, is the coordinator of Chester County/Main Line CHADD, where she facilitates the parent support groups. She is a psychiatric nurse on the adjunct faculty of Immaculata University.</span></i></b></div>
CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-21825751873507428742015-08-25T08:35:00.000-07:002015-08-25T08:37:02.902-07:00Start the School Year Right II: Homework and the Home Environment <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><b>guest blog by Beth A. Kaplanek, RN, and Linda Smith</b></i> <br />
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Last week, in part one, we discussed how parents can effectively
communicate their child’s needs through a letter to his or her teacher(s). This week, we'll address how you can set up the home environment to effectively organize and plan for those dreaded-by-parents-and-kids-alike homework sessions.<br />
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When your child has ADHD, it is important to set up a home environment that facilitates homework completion. Because many children with ADHD have problems with organizational impairment due to executive functioning deficits, the following proactive strategies will help take some of the stress out of the homework process.<br />
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<b>Organize a space in your home for doing homework.</b> Choose an area that is away from distractions and has ample room. Depending on their age, some children do better working independently in a quiet place that is away from other family members and distractions. Younger children often need to be in an area close enough to mom or dad so that progress on homework can be monitored.<br />
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A large calendar on the wall can be helpful for keeping track of your child’s assignments, when they are due, and when your child will be working on parts of long-term assignments. It can also be beneficial to include the dates of other activities such as soccer games, piano lessons, and so forth. This will help you and your child see the big picture of what needs to be done each week. Post-it notes and a bulletin board to put them on can also be a helpful organizational tool for older children.<br />
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<b>Make sure all supplies for doing homework are organized and accessible close to the homework area.</b> It can be helpful for the supplies to be sorted in containers or bins or placed in a regular spot on a shelf. Items that students often need to complete assignments include paper, pencils, pens, colored pencils, crayons, erasers, magic markers, a ruler, a calculator, a stapler and staples, scissors, glue sticks, and report folders. Different kinds of paper, such as lined, graph, computer, and construction paper are important to keep in the designated homework area. And for those moments when your child announces at 9 PM that he just remembered he has a project due for his science class tomorrow, it is wise to keep a supply of poster paper and maybe even project board on hand.<br />
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One essential tool to have in the homework work area is a timer that can be set to break the homework session into manageable units. Setting the timer for fifteen minutes of on-task work followed by a five-minute break can give the fidgety or frustrated child an opportunity to get up, move about, and then refocus on the work. Repeat this process for as long as is necessary to complete the evening’s homework.<br />
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Time limits will vary depending on the age of the child, his/her ability to stay on task, and the child’s difficulty with and/or interest in the assignment. The timer can also be a tool for teaching the child time-management strategies. Parents can make the child aware of the importance of using strategies, such as a timer, when they model using it to break homework completion into manageable parts.<br />
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<b>Prepare a notebook for the handouts your child’s teacher sends home. This notebook will be for <i>you</i>. </b>It is hard to remember classroom policies, course outlines, and grading scales for all teachers. Create a section in a three-ring binder for each of your children, using notebook dividers with pockets. When your children bring home correspondence during the school year, you will have a place to keep it. When you need to refer to the information, you will know right where to find it.<br />
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Schoolwork and the stress that it brings can be difficult for families dealing with ADHD. Help get the new school year off to a good start by setting up your home environment so that your child — and you — are ready to meet the challenges of homework completion.<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">An earlier version of this post appeared in <i>Attention</i> magazine. <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Membership/JOIN-CHADD-US-Membership.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a> and receive every issue!</span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><b>Beth A. Kaplanek, RN, and Linda Smith are two of the founders of CHADD's Parent to Parent: Family Training on ADHD.</b></i></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-36656040533008634212015-08-18T10:37:00.000-07:002015-08-18T13:01:29.768-07:00Start the School Year Right: The Teacher Letter<i><b>guest blog by Beth A. Kaplanek, RN, and Linda Smith</b></i><br />
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When August arrives, it's time to start putting systems in place to ensure that your child can have a successful school year. You can help get the new school year off to a good start by effectively communicating your child’s needs to his or her teachers and by setting up a home environment that facilitates homework completion. This week, let's look at the first of these tasks.<br />
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How do you get pertinent information to the teachers who are working with your child? A letter can be a good start and is a great vehicle to give the teacher an opportunity to become aware of your child’s special education plan. Even if no formalized plan is in place, a letter is a great tool if the teacher needs to know more about your child.<br />
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Never assume that just because a formalized plan has been created that your child’s teachers have been informed about its contents. Remember, it only takes a week to get behind in school, and then the stress of playing catch-up never seems to end — for your child and for you. If the special education department within your school district has a system in place for getting the details of your child’s plan to the teacher, then collaborate with them to convey your child’s information to the teacher.<br />
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<b>Write a letter to your child’s teacher</b><br />
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Does your child have an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or a 504 accommodation plan for school? Does your child require special classroom interventions? Has your child’s teacher been made aware of the plan? If you answered yes to the first two questions, and no to the last question, then take out your pen out now and write a letter.<br />
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The purpose of the letter is to make your child's teacher(s) aware that your child has an educational program. They may not have received those records from the school administration yet, and you want to make sure the information is conveyed to them. Write the letter in the spirit of providing support to the teacher, while making sure information about your child has been made available.<br />
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Below you'll find a list of important points to address in your letter, as well as other items that can be included based on your child’s individual needs. A sample letter is also provided.<br />
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End the letter by saying that you look forward to meeting the teacher(s) on back-to-school night. Then be sure to attend! If your child’s school does not hold such an event, say that you would like to meet the teacher(s) before the parent-teacher conferences at the end of the grading period, and ask what day and time would be convenient. Send the letter to all of your child’s teachers — including physical education teachers and coaches — and be sure to share a copy with the school principal.<br />
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<b>Important points to include or address</b><br />
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<ol>
<li>Your name and relationship to (child’s name) </li>
<li>Your contact information: phone/fax numbers, mailing address, email address, best times to reach you</li>
<li>Your aim to work as partners to ensure a successful year (for teacher and child)<br />• establish positive, open communication between home and school<br />• offer cooperation, collaboration, assistance, support<br />• provide helpful information about your child</li>
<li>Information about your child’s disability and educational program (IEP or 504 Plan)<br />• instructional needs, modifications, and/or accommodations in the plan<br />• behavioral needs, modifications, and/or accommodations in the plan</li>
<li>System for home-school communication<br />• daily homework and assignment sheet<br />• daily/weekly behavior report<br />• progress report, problem-solving, as needed </li>
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<b>SAMPLE LETTER</b><br />
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Date<br />
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Dear Mr./Ms./Mrs. _____,<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span><br />
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My husband and I are writing this letter to introduce ourselves and to open a door of communication. We are the parents of [<i>child’s name</i>], who will be a student in your class this year. We are looking forward to a successful school year for both you and [<i>child’s name</i>], and as parents, we want to work with you and the school as partners in [<i>child’s name</i>]’s education. We will be happy to help you and [<i>child’s name</i>] in any way we can.<br />
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In case you have not had the opportunity to receive the records from special education, [<i>child’s name</i>] has an educational program [<i>insert IEP / 504 Plan as appropriate</i>] to address needs related to ADHD, which affects [<i>Insert appropriate information here. For example: his ability to sit still, pay attention, and control his behavior. He has particular trouble getting organized, staying focused, completing and turning in assignments on time, and memorizing information, such as math facts.</i>] We want to take this opportunity to share information about his educational services in a simplified format, including the modifications and accommodations he receives.<br />
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Listed here are the main provisions of his [<i>insert IEP/504 Plan and list specifics below; this is a sample</i>]:<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Preferential seating<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Extra time on tests<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Test answers recorded in an alternate manner, as needed — especially for short-answer and discussion items<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Second set of books at home<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Use of a calculator for math<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Shortened homework assignments for math and writing<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Homework, long-range assignments, and tests recorded in planner, signed by teacher, and sent home every day<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Resource room, 45 minutes 4 times per week for math<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Foreign language exemption<br />
•<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Home-school reward system for homework completion and turning in assignments on time<br />
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We would also like to take this opportunity to set up a system of communication between home and school. You may already have such a system for your class that we will be happy to adapt and use. If not, then we will send a planner to school with [<i>child’s name</i>] everyday. It will always be in his backpack. He is to use it to write down his daily homework assignments, as well as any long-range assignments, such as upcoming tests, so that we can help to monitor his schoolwork at home. I will also use the planner to communicate with you on a weekly basis. Would you please assist us by reviewing and signing his planner before he leaves school each day and sending a note home in the planner on Fridays, so that we can help [<i>child’s name</i>] come to school prepared and reward him for his weekly school progress? <br />
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We would like to thank you in advance for taking the time to read our letter and helping with this important program. Having a system of support in place at the beginning of school will help to get the year off to a good start. My husband and I look forward to meeting you on Back-to-School Night, [<i>insert date if known</i>].<br />
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Please do not hesitate to contact us about problems or call on us for assistance at any time. We have included our phone and fax numbers and e-mail addresses below.<br />
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Best regards,<br />
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[<i>signature</i>]<br />
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Parent(s) Full Name(s)<br />
Street Address<br />
Town, State, Zip Code<br />
Home Phone, Cell phone, Fax number<br />
Mother’s e-mail, Father’s e-mail<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">An earlier version of this post appeared in <i>Attention</i> magazine. <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Membership/JOIN-CHADD-US-Membership.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a> and receive every issue!</span></b><br />
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<b><i>Beth A. Kaplanek, RN, and Linda Smith are two of the founders of CHADD's <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Training-Events/Parent-to-Parent-Program.aspx" target="_blank">Parent to Parent: Family Training on ADHD</a>.</i></b><br />
<br />CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-18330080555476559862015-08-11T07:54:00.000-07:002015-08-11T07:54:41.288-07:00Pack It Light, Wear It Right: Backpack Awareness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><b>by Zara Harris, MS, OT</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjOKhARrzyOV2xroudQ4_Zh7knoR5a5abPsbpHOADHV74n5hn-MNvObqcOrX3Xla4zdoJgzcdspVh5Syst14hLo6yrsgOHPz_gcickAwOgPncZmXMzaRJTLVvA3WmmPf7yl4fXWj3x4k/s1600/EED_018R.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPjOKhARrzyOV2xroudQ4_Zh7knoR5a5abPsbpHOADHV74n5hn-MNvObqcOrX3Xla4zdoJgzcdspVh5Syst14hLo6yrsgOHPz_gcickAwOgPncZmXMzaRJTLVvA3WmmPf7yl4fXWj3x4k/s320/EED_018R.JPG" width="213" /></a>This year, National School Backpack Awareness Day will be Wednesday, September 16. All across the country, backpack events will educate parents, students, educators, and school administrators about the serious health effects heavy backpacks worn improperly have on children.<br />
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More than 2,000 backpack-related injuries were treated in hospitals and clinics in 2007, according to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission. Countless students display stooped posture and complain of aching backs and shoulders and/or tingling arms. Too much weight improperly supported over time can cause long-term problems for developing spines. According to a Boston University study, approximately 85% percent of university students self-report discomfort and pain associated with backpack usage. Good habits need to be set during the school years.<br />
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For those of us whose children have ADHD, more often than not we are more concerned that our kids have remembered their backpacks and have the right books in them than that they are carrying them correctly.<br />
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For students with organizational challenges, taking everything with them all the time seems like the best strategy. But the weight soon adds up. Using their lockers between classes to switch out books is often a step too far in time — and that locker has its own organizing challenges. So, what do we do?<br />
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<b>Start out right</b><br />
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At the beginning of the school year, pick the best backpack for your student (see the guidelines below). If your student carries a laptop or tablet to school, consider getting a backpack with a special padded compartment that can be accessed from the outside without disturbing all those bits of paper. Buy a second (labeled) power cord that can either live at school or in a compartment in the backpack. Keep the other one permanently plugged in at home.<br />
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When possible, have a set of duplicate textbooks that lives at home. This both reduces the weight of the backpack and the frustration of not bringing home the right books. Label these books well so they do not creep back into school later in the year. When buying school supplies buy the jumbo packs, keep a supply in the backpack, a set at home for homework, and keep the rest in a closet ready for when the first lot go missing.<br />
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Most students with ADHD struggle to use ring binders effectively and do better with an accordion file so that papers can just be dropped into the well-labeled pockets. Beware, though, that these fill fast. Beware also that if the accordion file is dropped, it is a paper disaster. Get a tabletop box of hanging files (with the same labels) and plan to transfer papers once a week from the accordion file to the box file.<br />
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After-school activities or subjects like music or sports that require special clothes or equipment on special days present extra challenges. Consider having a separate bag with those items that can either be carried separately or inserted into the backpack on those days. At one time I had a Monday bag, a Tuesday, bag, and so forth. It might be useful way of recycling last year’s backpack. <br />
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<b>Privacy issues</b><br />
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As students gets older, the contents of their backpacks become increasingly “personal.” Before school starts, make a plan to manage the organization at a regular time and give the student time to remove any “personal” items before you sort it together.<br />
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If you can, arrange for a regular locker check, too. This may be done with the help of the teacher or a better-organized student. Make sure that your student can use the padlock provided for the locker and can reach the hooks within. Invest in some locker shelves and organizers to help your student see belongings more easily.<br />
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The older the student, the more he should be responsible for his own belongings. Backpacks fall into the must-be-done category, however — think about those week-old sandwiches under the social studies book, to say nothing of that completed science project she forgot to hand in. A regular weekly backpack and locker check can be an essential tool for school success.<br />
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<b>CHOOSING A BACKPACK</b><br />
<span id="goog_468540180"></span><span id="goog_468540181"></span>• To fit the student, the bottom should rest in the curve of the lower back and NEVER more than four inches below the waistline (two inches for smaller kids).<br />
• Broad, well-padded shoulder straps and back of pack.<br />
• Adjustable straps to fit the pack to the child and to allow for growth during the year.<br />
• If possible, find one with waist and chest straps to secure the pack to the child’s body.<br />
• If a younger child has to carry many books, then consider a wheeled bag with a handle long enough that he or she can pull it without stooping.<br />
• If the student will carry a tablet or laptop, consider choosing a backpack with a special pocket that opens to the outside (handy for airports, too).<br />
• Label it well!<br />
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<b>PACKING IT LIGHT</b><br />
• A full backpack should not weigh more than 10% (15% absolute maximum) of the child’s body weight.<br />
• Load the heaviest items closest to the child’s back. <br />
• Arrange books and materials so that they don’t slide around in the backpack.<br />
• If the backpack is too heavy, consider having the child hand carry a book or lunch box. It can be useful to have one that clips to the backpack for storage in school.<br />
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<b>WEARING IT RIGHT</b><br />
• Distribute weight evenly by using BOTH straps. Wearing a pack slung over one shoulder can cause a child to lean to one side, curving the spine and causing pain or discomfort.<br />
• Wear the waist belt and chest strap if the pack has them. This helps distribute the weight more evenly.<br />
• Adjust the shoulder straps so that the pack fits snugly on the child’s back. The bottom of the pack should rest in the curve of the lower back and not below the waist. A pack that hangs loosely can pull the child backward and strain muscles.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>THE GOLDEN RULE</b><br />To ease those dreadful morning scrambles, load the backpack the night before and place it by the door.</span><br />
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More information is available in the Backpack Awareness section of the <a href="http://www.aota.org/conference-events/backpack-safety-awareness-day.aspx" target="_blank">American Occupational Therapy Association</a> website.<br />
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<i><b><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span id="goog_468540182"></span><span id="goog_468540183"></span></span></b></i><i><b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaLDEPcAC36Sf6Y7P3AJhoMdaf3YpiHexLqwhyphenhyphen9BWWpkrRw1wRHhyqRDU7hsAp1W5fn_Z_Hakge6lDnrQJzOP0IynVlZxr0nvttFsf6xwn-Bw1lp06KXumm4fUNnJdUKksPLGCp6CjTVM/s1600/zara_harris.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaLDEPcAC36Sf6Y7P3AJhoMdaf3YpiHexLqwhyphenhyphen9BWWpkrRw1wRHhyqRDU7hsAp1W5fn_Z_Hakge6lDnrQJzOP0IynVlZxr0nvttFsf6xwn-Bw1lp06KXumm4fUNnJdUKksPLGCp6CjTVM/s1600/zara_harris.jpg" /></a>Pediatric occupational therapist Zara Harris, MS, OT, is based in Fayetteville,
Arkansas. Licensed in both the United States and the United Kingdom, she
has had over thirty years of experience. Specializing in helping students who are struggling with handwriting, homework, attention, time management, and organization, Harris has worked with
international schools on three different continents.</span></b></i><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-65262838661998329462015-07-28T10:18:00.002-07:002015-07-28T10:18:51.925-07:00What Can a Conference Do for You?<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEWVPJWzcfjEO3EzqVrw91JT0rh-eGw9sljkqh_Nbowzyxekgo5YqUPnpLtKiUm8wCKkWWBSDAQQvD75vX1ra9jWaimEbDXEG2Ub1zAM8r6JS-P49fucyB9k2As4nlLkAR1rpfh7wZulc/s1600/PTO_097R.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEWVPJWzcfjEO3EzqVrw91JT0rh-eGw9sljkqh_Nbowzyxekgo5YqUPnpLtKiUm8wCKkWWBSDAQQvD75vX1ra9jWaimEbDXEG2Ub1zAM8r6JS-P49fucyB9k2As4nlLkAR1rpfh7wZulc/s200/PTO_097R.JPG" width="200" /></a><i><b>guest blog by Elaine Taylor-Klaus, CPCC, PCC</b></i><br /><br />To say that my life changed dramatically after attending my
first CHADD conference is the understatement of the year. My eyes were opened
and widened at that first conference. I was struck most by the sense of
community, the sense that we all belonged together, and the realization that I
was not alone. There were so many others “out there” who understood — plus
others who were helping and supporting other parents just like I wanted to do. <span style="color: #1f497d; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt;"></span></div>
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I met a woman there who had an experience similar to mine. We agreed to join
forces to help other parents using the skills we had each learned in coaching
training. We wanted to offer the kind of help we each wished we’d had years
earlier on our journeys. </div>
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Long story short, we returned to the CHADD conference the following year with
the honor of being recognized as an Innovative Program. Wow! We
launched our new venture and returned as exhibitors the following
year. Since then we have returned each year as presenters.</div>
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I have been an active volunteer for CHADD for several years, and now serve
on the national board of directors. CHADD’s conference is one of the highlights
of my year — it’s a chance to learn, explore, teach, ask questions, connect
with other parents and professionals, and know that I’m doing something
constructive every year to keep my family on a solid course to success.<br /><br />Now, imagine what attending this year's conference could do for you and your family!<br /><br /><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Don't miss this year's <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Training-Events/Annual-International-Conference-on-ADHD.aspx" target="_blank">CHADD conference in New Orleans</a>! Hear from top ADHD experts; engage in the issues that matter most; learn new strategies.</b></span></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8-g87q6aBTKuhs0QYQNcyELIMnct2rRUENFSbSVXr4tkYV0uACCmE2EwrL8sAxqoe1s0j2MTdqi_CenXQglEE78YnyVYvFjm0U78fou9lHW380fTx4RJuwSovHZVpRbdixGSt4DHOaCM/s1600/ElaineTaylorKlaus_blog.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8-g87q6aBTKuhs0QYQNcyELIMnct2rRUENFSbSVXr4tkYV0uACCmE2EwrL8sAxqoe1s0j2MTdqi_CenXQglEE78YnyVYvFjm0U78fou9lHW380fTx4RJuwSovHZVpRbdixGSt4DHOaCM/s1600/ElaineTaylorKlaus_blog.jpg" /></a><i><b>Elaine Taylor-Klaus, CPCC, PCC, is the cofounder of <a href="http://www.impactadhd.com/" target="_blank">ImpactADHD</a>.</b></i><br /> </div>
CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-4450532012621572622015-07-21T10:23:00.000-07:002015-07-21T10:23:50.778-07:00A Conference & A Life Lesson<br />
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<span style="color: black;"><i><b><i><b>guest blog by Marie S. Paxson</b></i> </b></i></span></div>
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At my very first CHADD conference, I heard educator Terry Illes explain to parents that "I don't know" is an acceptable answer to the question, "Why did you do that?" Until then, whenever one of my children with ADHD got into mischief, hearing "I don't know" as their explanation only made me more annoyed. I usually followed up with something like "How can you NOT know?" or "Well, you can go to your room and think about it until you know!" I thought I was teaching them to think before they acted next time.<br />
<br />
Then Dr. Illes explained executive function and the part of the brain responsible for advance planning. Impulsive behavior means no advance planning occurred. Therefore my kids really didn't know why they caused a problem. And my role wasn't to punish or shame them for skills they did not have, but to help them understand how their brains worked and how to compensate for EF differences.<br />
<br />
I had a life lesson a few months after that conference. My 11-year-old son insisted on "helping" me by unloading a warehouse-size bag of cat litter from my car. When he reached our entryway, instead placing the bag on the floor, he simply let go of the bag from about chest high. Dust and clay particles went everywhere. I didn't yell, but my body language indicated my annoyance as we cleaned up the mess in stony silence. A few hours later, my son came to me and said, "Mom, how did you know the bag of kitty litter would explode if I didn't set it down gently?" I answered, "I don't know." AND that was the truth.<br />
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I'm so glad I attended the conference, because now when my children say, "I don't know," I realize they are being truthful.<i><b></b></i><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>Don't miss this year's <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Training-Events/Annual-International-Conference-on-ADHD.aspx" target="_blank">CHADD conference in New Orleans</a>! Hear from top ADHD experts; engage in the issues that matter most; learn new strategies.</b></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><i><b>Marie S. Paxson is a past president of CHADD. </b></i></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-37845336116099174922015-07-14T11:59:00.000-07:002015-07-14T11:59:36.960-07:00Friendship Feedback & Parents with ADHD<i><b>guest blog by Amori Yee Mikami, PhD</b></i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS92CNPOeXxsZocDiWniaYgssaQPovzR_UVuveH-MISRxQfspmVzyMeAkAVEl40NupeezG93b7AyMNH27vZkQngTLQ9-erCYvs1hXATZDKqwZom55Rgu2FlZBrBb2i78eH6tvG-5V4DhU/s1600/boys_friendship.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiS92CNPOeXxsZocDiWniaYgssaQPovzR_UVuveH-MISRxQfspmVzyMeAkAVEl40NupeezG93b7AyMNH27vZkQngTLQ9-erCYvs1hXATZDKqwZom55Rgu2FlZBrBb2i78eH6tvG-5V4DhU/s320/boys_friendship.jpg" width="320" /></a>This series on being a friendship coach for your child with ADHD began with a discussion on building a positive parent-child relationship. I also shared guidelines for helping your child make and keep friends. <br />
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My next post described how to set up successful playdates, the cornerstones to deepening
friendships among elementary-school children.<br />
<br />
Today let's consider the quality of the feedback you give your child following those playdates. Learn from the examples to make comments that actually help your child. And if you have ADHD, too, here are some specialized tips on being your child's friendship coach.<br />
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<b>Giving your child friendship feedback</b><br />
<br />
Here are some tips and examples of helpful and not-so-helpful comments from parents to children.<br />
<br />
<b>1. Keep it brief. </b>It will be easier for your child to follow what you say.<br />
<ul>
<li><i>Poor:</i> "In this last playdate you talked with your friend early on about who should go first, which your friend wanted to do, and I think that was helpful to lead to your friend feeling welcomed by you as a guest here." </li>
<li><i>Better</i>: "Nice job letting your friend go first."</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>2. Be specific.</b> Your child needs to know exactly what behavior is expected.<br />
<ul>
<li><i>Poor:</i> "Nobody likes it if you are a bad sport when you lose."</li>
<li><i>Better:</i> "If you lose you can say 'good game' to the winner."</li>
</ul>
<br />
<b>3. Stay in the present.</b> This is especially important when you are giving negative feedback; the child can’t do anything about the past.<br />
<ul>
<li><i>Poor:</i> "You always have to move your guest’s pieces in games. You did that today with your guest, you did it the last time we had a playdate too, and your teacher says this is a problem at school too." </li>
<li><i>Better: </i>"I think that your guest today wanted to move his own pieces in the game. Next time, you move your own when it’s your turn and let your guest move his own when it’s his turn." </li>
</ul>
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<b>4. Stay positive.</b> Catch your child being good to encourage more of that behavior in the future.<br />
<ul>
<li><i>Poor:</i> "You shared your dolls but then you really didn’t share your video games after that. You need to work harder on sharing the whole time."</li>
<li><i>Better:</i> "Awesome job sharing your dolls so well! Your friend really liked that."</li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
<b>All in the family</b><br />
<br />
Sometimes parents of children with ADHD have ADHD symptoms, too. This can make being a friendship coach for the child easier in some ways and more challenging in others. Here are some tips to remember:<br />
<br />
<b>• Empathize with your child.</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Having ADHD yourself can make you more patient and understanding when dealing with your child’s friendship difficulties. This has the positive benefit of building a good parent-child relationship so that your child trusts you to be on his side and help him as a friendship coach. Also, having ADHD may help you better anticipate your child’s social behaviors and needs. </blockquote>
<br />
<b>• Take things one step at a time.</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Some parents with ADHD struggle with providing the level of structured, organized playdate that is recommended here. Just pick one friendship-coaching tip that is realistic to try with your child first, and focus on doing that one tip well. It might help to write on your calendar which friendship-coaching tip you have chosen so that you are reminded about your goal. Once you practice the tip it will get easier, and then you can work on adding another friendship coaching tip later. </blockquote>
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<b>• Work together as a team.</b><br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Some parents with ADHD have difficulty networking with other parents, similar to the difficulties that their child with ADHD has in relating to the other children. You and your child might both set a goal that, during soccer practice, both of you will talk to other adults and children to each think about one potential friend to invite for a playdate. Remember to celebrate your successes as a team afterward, too.</blockquote>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">An earlier version of this post appeared in </span></b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><b>Attention</b></i><b><b><b> magazine<b>. <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.chadd.org/Membership/Join-CHADD.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a></span> and receive every issue!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b><br /><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><b><b><b>Join the conversation about parenting kids with ADHD on <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Support/Attention-Connection.aspx">Attention connection</a></span>, your social network for all things ADHD!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><b>Amori Yee Mikami, PhD, is an
associate professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia
and a registered clinical psychologist in British Columbia. She
previously taught at the University of Virginia. Mikami received CHADD’s
2006 Young Scientist Award.</b></i></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-58760412076419522015-07-07T08:27:00.001-07:002015-07-07T08:28:09.991-07:00Fun & Friendship: Tips for Successful Playdates<br />
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<i><b>guest blog by Amori Yee Mikami, PhD</b></i><br />
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While your child with ADHD attends elementary school, you can aim for
one to two high-quality, supervised playdates per week. As I mentioned
in last week's blog, playdates are the cornerstones to deepening
friendships among children at that age.<br />
<br />
Remind yourself that your child will have better and worse days as he or
she is working on being a better friend. We all have ups and downs. Try
not to get too discouraged with yourself or with your child when there
are minor setbacks, so long as your child’s friendship-making skills are
improving overall. <br />
<br />
Also, remember that your child does not need
to be the most popular boy or girl in the class. In fact, sometimes
children who are the most popular develop other problems. The goal is
for your child to maintain a small group of close friends who truly like
one another and can turn to each other for support. If you can invest
in helping your child develop a few strong friendships, then this will
set the stage for your child to become a happy, well-adjusted adult.<br />
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Here are some tips to make playdates happy occasions.<br />
<br />
<b>Before the playdate</b><br />
<br />
• Choose the right friend to invite over (see last week's blog on identifying good potential friends).<br />
• Have your child and the friend decide in advance what they would like to do during the playdate. Then, plan the activity with your child and don’t leave a lot of unstructured downtime.<br />
• Put away (with your child) any toys that your child doesn’t want the guest to touch.<br />
• Have snacks on hand in case there is a period of boredom. Then you can bring out snacks and revitalize the interaction.<br />
• If there are poor friendship behaviors that your child shows consistently, pick no more than one or two to discuss with your child in advance. Tell your child you’ll be watching out for him to do well in these areas and (if necessary) you will give him a reward afterward for behaving well. Remember to tell your child the positive behavior you would like to see and to pick a standard that is slightly above his child’s current performance, but not so far above that it is unattainable.<br />
• Make the first playdate last no longer than one hour. Make it a shorter amount of time if you are not sure your child can behave for one hour. The guest should leave on a good note.<br />
<br />
<b>During the playdate</b><br />
<br />
• If your child is showing minor behavior problems, calmly whisper a reminder in her ear.<br />
• If the behavior problems are more severe or if the reminder doesn’t work, ask to see your child in the other room and tell her what behaviors need to be changed. If you do it privately with your child, it won’t make the guest feel awkward. If your child is behaving that poorly, the guest will have already noticed that, and will be relieved that you are doing something about it.<br />
• Unless the problems are so severe that someone is in danger, don’t send the guest home. The guest shouldn’t be punished for your child’s misbehavior. Plus, your child loses the opportunity to socialize. Give your child a different punishment afterward. Then, ask yourself what you could do differently next time before the playdate to reduce the likelihood that this will happen again.<br />
<br />
<b>After the playdate</b><br />
• If true, tell the other parent that the children had a good time and you hope they can get together again.<br />
• Use the principles of effective feedback to tell your child specifically what was and was not good friendship-making. Remember the 4:1 ratio and to praise for even 25 percent correct.<br />
• If you had a contract with your child about how to behave, then give your child the rewards that you promised if your child showed these target behaviors.<br />
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NEXT WEEK: How do you give your child friendship feedback? Can you be your child's friendship coach if you have ADHD, too?<br />
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<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">An earlier version of this post appeared in </span></b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><b>Attention</b></i><b><b><b> magazine<b>. <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.chadd.org/Membership/Join-CHADD.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a></span> and receive every issue!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><b><b><b>Join the conversation about parenting kids with ADHD on <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Support/Attention-Connection.aspx">Attention connection</a></span>, your social network for all things ADHD!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b></span><br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><i><b>Amori Yee Mikami, PhD, is an
associate professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia
and a registered clinical psychologist in British Columbia. She
previously taught at the University of Virginia. Mikami received CHADD’s
2006 Young Scientist Award.</b></i></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-71139185285878652362015-06-30T08:33:00.000-07:002015-07-07T08:27:19.505-07:00Become Your Child's Friendship Coach<i><b>guest blog by Amori Yee Mikami, PhD</b></i><br />
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Does your elementary school-aged child with ADHD have social issues? Just as you can help your child succeed academically, you can help your child make and keep friends. Here are some guidelines.<br />
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<b>Build on a positive parent-child relationship.<br /><br /> </b>Children will be more likely to listen to constructive feedback and guidance about their friendship problems if they feel their parent is on their side. Think about the parallel with your own life: Do you want to improve your performance for a caring, positive boss, or for a critical boss you can never please? In order to do this:<br />
• Spend special time doing a fun activity alone with your child - without directing, teaching, or criticizing.<br />
• Pick your battles wisely. If your child is doing ten things wrong, focus on the most crucial one or two first. Most children can only handle working on one or two things at a time before they feel overwhelmed.<br />
• If your child is upset, try to be empathetic and listen to your child’s feelings first for ten minutes before you jump in and suggest what your child could do differently next time. If the problem is already in the past, delaying ten minutes before you give constructive suggestions will not hurt anything.<br />
<br />
<b>Give friendship feedback.</b><br />
<b><br /></b> Try to keep the ratio of positive to negative feedback about 4:1. Research has shown that this ratio keeps adults happy with their marriages and jobs; children are no different. It is exceptionally hard to maintain this high ratio when parenting children with ADHD because of their behavior problems; most parents report they are nowhere near this ratio. In order to get there:<br />
• Start by praising for 25% correct. This actually encourages your child to try harder than if you wait around for your child to do something a 100% correct before you praise and your child never or rarely manages to do it.<br />
• Don’t spoil the praise by adding backhanded criticisms such as, “You did a good job today, but why can’t you do this all the time?”<br />
<br />
When your child has behaved badly and you need to address the problem behavior:<br />
• Keep it specific to the behavior that needs to be changed and not about character.<br />
• Try to talk about the behavior that just occurred and not about what may have happened in the past.<br />
• If you feel yourself getting angry, it is okay to say to your child, “I am getting upset and I don’t want to say something I don’t mean. Let’s take a break to calm down.”<br />
<br />
<b>Identify good potential friends.</b><br />
<b><br /></b> These should be same-age peers who seem already inclined to like your child (or at least don’t dislike your child), share common interests with your child, and won’t be a bad or destructive influence. It’s more important to choose the right match for your child than to choose the most popular child in the class. Ideally, you also want to choose a peer whose parent can provide the supervision your child needs and who understands your child’s behavior.<br />
<br />
Children with ADHD can be poor judges of who likes and who does not like them. This may be because they miss social cues from peers, or because they want to have more friends than they truly do. You can help your child sort out good potential friends by getting involved in your child’s activities to observe which children seem to get along with your child. In order to identify good potential friends:<br />
• Ask your child who he or she likes to play with and why, and what they do together.<br />
• Ask your child's teacher (or group leader of an extracurricular activity) who in the class might be a good potential friend for your child.<br />
• Volunteer to help out in the classroom and in your child’s activities. Observe the children to see who might be a good potential friend.<br />
• Hang out during activities and network with other parents. You will get to know them and they will be more likely to invite your child places.<br />
• If your child consistently wants to play with one peer you consider a bad influence, make a pact to first invite someone else for two playdates. Then your child can invite the peer of his or her choice for the next playdate.<br />
<br />
<b>Arrange fun playdates.<br /><br /> </b>Playdates are the cornerstones to deepening friendships among elementary schoolchildren. Aim for one to two good, high-quality, supervised playdates per week for your child. Is your child currently having zero good playdates? Then it is more important to have one good playdate every month than to pack in two playdates per week where the quality suffers.<br />
<br />
NEXT WEEK: Your guide to setting up successful playdates.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">An earlier version of this post appeared in </span></b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><b>Attention</b></i><b><b><b> magazine<b>. <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.chadd.org/Membership/Join-CHADD.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a></span> and receive every issue!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><b><b><b>Join the conversation about parenting kids with ADHD on <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Support/Attention-Connection.aspx">Attention connection</a></span>, your social network for all things ADHD!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i><b>Amori Yee Mikami, PhD, is an associate professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia and a registered clinical psychologist in British Columbia. She previously taught at the University of Virginia. Mikami received CHADD’s 2006 Young Scientist Award.</b></i></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-90623169011690975282015-06-23T08:57:00.000-07:002015-06-23T09:02:13.583-07:00Your Best Summer Vacation Tips<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Vacations are meant to be a time to relax and just get away from it all. But when your family is affected by ADHD, it’s hard to escape those ADHD-related complications that can mar your summer fun.<br />
<br />
We know you want not only to survive your vacation, you hope to thrive. So we asked CHADD members—the real experts—to offer their five best tips. Here's what they learned from their not-so-perfect summer vacations. They did it so you don't have to!<br />
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<br />
<b>IF YOU'RE AN ADULT WITH ADHD...</b><br />
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• Use your hyperfocus to research hotels and flights.<br />
• Use your upcoming vacation as a carrot (reward) to motivate you to tie up projects at work.<br />
• Ask someone else pack for you to make sure you’re packing appropriately.<br />
• Have your spouse or traveling companion review the itinerary.<br />
• Make lists and be sure to write down all flight and hotel information. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>John, Redwood City, California</i></span><br />
<i><br /></i>
• Start planning and packing about a week in advance. <br />
• Use a permanent checklist of everything you need to do before you travel. <br />
• Identify activities, connect them with wardrobe. <br />
• Collect all items in one place. <br />
• Have a second complete set of items like toiletries packed and ready to go.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Donna, Pleasant Hill, California</i></span><br />
<i><span style="font-size: small;"></span><br /></i>
<b>IF YOU'RE PARENTING KIDS WITH ADHD...</b><br />
<br />
• Keep sleep patterns consistent.<br />
• Make travel plans to and from destination during the child’s best time of the day.<br />
• Be outdoors as much as possible—fresh air and sunshine are the best “medicine.”<br />
• Although kids with ADHD need structure, be willing to be a little more flexible during vacations than you are during the school year.<br />
• Don’t set your expectations too high. Be willing to give and take, and ENJOY!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Kate, Ooltewah, Tennessee</i></span><br />
<i><br /></i>• Bring toys, activities and food along with you in the car or on the plane.<br />
• Familiarity helps. Plan ahead and let your child know where you’re going. Also consider repeat visits to the same destination.<br />
• Get to your destination early and do something active, so your child is ready for bed at night.<br />
• Modify your own expectations to accommodate your child and his or her needs.<br />
• Expect the first night to be rough.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Bradford, Frankfort, Illinois</i></span><br />
<i><br /></i>• Start talking about the trip two months in advance, and say what has to be done.<br />
• Use a packing list with easy-to-read categories (shirts, pants, toiletries, etc.) and checklists.<br />
• Bring card games, handheld video games, books, or notebooks for downtime on the trip.<br />
• Be clear on rules to follow for each location.<br />
• Meet the friends and families of any new friends your child makes on the trip. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Pam, Minneapolis, Minnesota</i></span><br />
<br />
• Keep children entertained and out of trouble. We bought twin DVD players that can play separately or together. One child prefers movies, while the other prefers games.<br />
• Bag complete sets of clothes individually and give one bag to each child each day. We also pack spare clothes separately for unplanned emergencies. Pop-up laundry baskets can help keep the dirty clothes in one spot.<br />
• Never, ever leave home without copies of prescriptions and double-checking medications. The medication bag is on the packing list to double-check before we leave for a trip.<br />
• Schedule planned breaks during the car trips. If the kids are younger, then think about stopping at restaurants with playgrounds.<br />
• Kids with ADHD like interesting activities while parents like to relax and rest. It’s important to pick places, such as restaurants like Chuck-E-Cheese, where kids can have a safe and contained place to burn energy while parents relax.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Loretta, Charlotte, North Carolina</i></span><br />
<br />
<br />
• Pack brightly colored shirts so your child stands out and can be easily spotted.<br />
• Set limited physical boundaries as soon as you arrive at your destination; for example, "Stay in between this large rock and that tree. Do not go outside the box."<br />
• Use walkie-talkies to maintain constant contact.<br />
• Take advantage of your child's interests. For example, my son loves marine life, so we bought him a book on Caribbean fish. He spent hours finding fish he had seen during snorkeling trips.<br />
• Schedule regular quiet time each day so your child can refocus and keep from getting overstimulated.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Tabitha, Carterville, Illinois</i></span><br />
<br />
• Let children and teens pack what they want to bring, including their favorite things that make them feel at home. <br />
• Allow them to partake in deciding each day's activity. <br />
• Listen to them when they are tired, and be aware of their body language telling you they've had enough for the day.<br />
• Count down the days with them so they know how many days of vacation are left.<br />
• Reassure them they'll be home soon and back to the familiar surroundings and routines.<br />
• Take children to familiar places while you're away, such as McDonald's, Target, or WalMart.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i>Nancy, Upper Pittsgrove, NJ</i></span><br />
<br />
<i></i><br />
<i></i><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">An earlier version of this post appeared in </span></b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Attention</b><b><b><b> magazine<b>. <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.chadd.org/Membership/Join-CHADD.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a></span> and receive every issue!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><b><b><b>Join conversations about parenting kids with ADHD on <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Support/Attention-Connection.aspx">Attention connection</a></span>, your social network for all things ADHD!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-67734615807921659062015-06-16T11:24:00.000-07:002015-06-16T11:34:12.746-07:00Manage Those Lazy, Hazy, Crazy Days of Summer <i><b>guest blog by Paula L. Novash</b></i><br />
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School’s out and children look forward to sunny, lazy days with free time to rest in the hammock or splash in the pool. But for parents who are dealing with children with ADHD, summertime can be challenging. Without the imposed routine of the school year, there's lots of time to fill. And when kids are bored and squabbling, those extra hours of daylight can seem endless. How can families develop summer plans to maximize warm-weather fun and minimize conflicts and behavior issues?<br />
<br />
Anticipating areas that may be sources of stress, such as lack of structure, will help. “Summer should be a vacation from school but not a vacation from life,” says school psychologist Terry Illes. “Relinquishing all routine is a prescription for disaster. The schedule can be different, and it can be flexible, but if parents have established boundaries and kids know what to expect, they will be less likely to push limits.”<br />
<br />
<b>Maintain a routine</b><br />
<br />
The daily schedule can include elements such as waking time and bedtime, chores, scheduled activities such as camps and classes, and free time. Parents should make sure children have time for active play and exercise. And they may also want to consider screen-time guidelines for use of electronic products. <br />
<br />
Parent Liz Tibett says her family plans their summer together. “We make a family summer schedule in writing and allow our children to have input,” she explains. “There has to be a balance between free time and constructive activity time.”<br />
<br />
Using a schedule helps avoid summer pitfalls like not eating regularly or sleeping enough, Tibett points out. “It’s important to watch your ADHD child’s diet. Without a schedule eating times seem to be sporadic, and who doesn’t get cranky when they are hungry?” Typical summer fast foods create dietary imbalance. Further, the medications taken by many people with ADHD may interfere with appetite at mealtimes, but result in a voracious rebound when a meal is not available. “Plus it is important to adhere to a reasonable bed time. Lack of sleep aggravates behavior and increases attention span deficits,” she adds.<br />
<br />
Many parents include some sort of academic time in the schedule but make it fun. Reading books on topics kids are especially interested in, but may not have time for during the school year, is a good idea. Regular visits to the library give children the idea that reading is part of life. Some libraries have summer programs especially designed for children.<br />
<br />
“We try to read together at least every other night to keep the ‘school work’ activities in place. Otherwise it’s close to impossible to set kids on track when September comes around,” says Tibett.<br />
<br />
Mom Catherine Eisenhart says early morning swim lessons have worked well for her family. “It’s especially important to have an activity scheduled early. That gets the day off and started so you don’t lose structure,” she explains. Eisenhart says she thinks of her summer routine as a “schedule of fun, not a schedule of obligation. Summer is a time of exploration and creativity.” <br />
<br />
<b>Fun summer activities</b><br />
<br />
From a neighborhood play group to a trip to the science museum, parents can find abundant offerings for kids of all ages. <br />
<br />
Mom Cristie Gibbons says her children have explored a wide range of programs in her community. “The kids participated in a yoga class last summer, a class on electricity, and one on dissecting animals,” she says. “One camp includes a bus ride out to a school that owns horses and boats so the kids could have a ‘traditional’ camp experience. Another is at the local art museum, where they participate in art projects.” <br />
<br />
Camp opportunities are also available for kids whose ADHD needs to be managed in particular ways. Mom Virtryece Louis Michel’s son attended a specialized camp at a university. “His day was planned to the minute. It included practicing social skills like being a good friend, self-defense, and how to handle teasing,” Michel says. “He had specific measurable goals for behaviors, too, and I received daily progress reports and parent training.”<br />
<br />
As children grow, they may pursue more independent, yet still structured, summer activities. Cheryl Monroe’s fourteen-year-old son has branched out from local camps to sleepover ones. <br />
<br />
“At skate camp my son has been in a dorm environment and has had the great gift of caring for himself under supervision. Some of the things I glean from the week kill me (like what he does or doesn't eat), but I have seen the advantage of his being responsible for himself,” says Monroe. “This has been huge for him because we tend to ‘run’ his life to keep it moving. It also enabled him to go on a school trip to Greece this summer without me. He's very proud of himself.” <br />
<br />
For more summer activities suggested by parents, see the sidebar that accompanies this article.<br />
<br />
<b>Look for bonding opportunities</b><br />
<br />
Many families find that the relaxed summer routine gives them more time to interact in positive ways. Cristie Gibbons values family dinners, which can be more relaxed without homework looming. “We have a lot to discuss at night since the kids are involved in so many things,” she says. <br />
<br />
Catherine Eisenhart’s family has regular movie nights. “My four children take turns picking the movies, and we write whose turn it is on the calendar so there’s no room for argument,” she says. Eisenhart will also ask grandparents to babysit so that she can take her older son and daughter to the pool after her younger two are in bed. <br />
<br />
Liz Tibett shares, “I allow my kids to pick a night-time activity based on good behavior, such as ‘ice cream time’ at their favorite shop. That, too, can become a summer routine.” <br />
<br />
<b>Keep track of the kids</b><br />
<br />
One challenge of summer is that children may go off in many different directions. Parents may feel stressed at not knowing exactly who is playing where and with whom. As children have more freedom to move about the neighborhood, parents can set up regular check-in times. For instance, a younger child may wear a watch with an alarm, and when it rings he or she is expected to call or come home. Teenagers can carry cell phones.<br />
<br />
<b>Parents need to recharge</b><br />
<br />
Psychotherapist Sari Solden, author of <i>Women with Attention Deficit Disorder</i>, says that a summer schedule is not just for children. “Anchors are replenishing for you, the parent, as well,” she says.<br />
<br />
Solden also suggests that parents share child and family care duties. “Make sure you are not the only energy source in the house,” she continues. “Seek help from grandparents and partners. Hire a neighborhood high-school or college student who can drive, or trade off child care with other parents so you can maintain space for yourself.”<br />
<br />
Most of all, Solden suggests being realistic about expectations. “Try to not be over- or under-structured,” she says. “Waking up without any plans is challenging, but don’t plan every moment, or you’re probably setting yourself up for disappointment.”<br />
<br />
<b>Reconnect as a family</b><br />
<br />
“Be careful not to make summer all about the things you and your child haven’t kept up with during the school year,” cautions Dr. Illes. “The routine of school can be especially grinding for children with ADHD,” he continues. “These children need some concentrated downtime to refresh their energies and renew their enthusiasm. Use the summer to reconnect and enjoy each other.”<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>Summer Activities for Kids with ADHD</b><br />
<br />
Day camps <br />
Play dates<br />
Crafts, such as scrapbooking, collecting, etc.<br />
Sports programs, especially in noncompetitive leagues where everyone participates <br />
Visits to parks<br />
Nature walks<br />
Reading aloud<br />
Art projects and classes<br />
Bike rides<br />
Science programs <br />
Day trips to a children’s museum, zoo, or aquarium<br />
Children’s theater programs or performances<br />
Volunteering individually or as a family<br />
Board and card games<br />
Interactive computer or video games<br />
Gyms and exercise classes<br />
Community college classes<br />
Dance programs<br />
Secondary school summer programs like auto shop, carpentry, or cosmetology<br />
IMAX movies<br />
Visiting an observatory or airport<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">An earlier version of this post appeared in </span></b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Attention</b><b><b><b> magazine<b>. <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.chadd.org/Membership/Join-CHADD.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a></span> and receive every issue!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b><br />
<b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><b><b><b>Join conversations about parenting kids with ADHD on <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Support/Attention-Connection.aspx">Attention connection</a></span>, your social network for all things ADHD!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b><i>Paula L. Novash is a freelance writer.</i></b></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-91297800024429316512015-06-02T10:26:00.001-07:002015-06-02T10:30:39.862-07:00Improve Your Parent-Child Connection<i><b>guest blog by Cindy Goldrich, EdM, ACAC</b></i><br />
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<i>“I try to help him, but he just won’t listen.”<br /> “We are fighting more
than ever.”<br /> “She is a wonderful person, but somehow I can’t get through
to her.”</i><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpBIceBdyBOaF-XtU8VReZn-8B5CL1dPKkkGRbFjcVLHvpou5q-PUcLEmPBjk3lhKpXiZlolUskSQ1MvkfMCUM9Ul_4w9-UwPbPY37m3cUei95ieg0nFOlVeQ1Zp63LjEbKCHHU8VSzaw/s1600/ETE_026R.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpBIceBdyBOaF-XtU8VReZn-8B5CL1dPKkkGRbFjcVLHvpou5q-PUcLEmPBjk3lhKpXiZlolUskSQ1MvkfMCUM9Ul_4w9-UwPbPY37m3cUei95ieg0nFOlVeQ1Zp63LjEbKCHHU8VSzaw/s320/ETE_026R.JPG" width="213" /></a>The very nature of the disorder means that
kids with ADHD are often off-task or emotionally deregulated. As a
result, many parents spend so much time correcting or corralling their
children that they feel they have lost some of the joy, love, and
connection they crave. Parents often lose confidence, perspective, and
hope when they feel they are in a constant battle to just get through
the day. Children, including young adults, suffer as well. What may seem
on the surface to be defiance or lack of care is often a wounded child
who feels judged, scared, misunderstood, and sometimes helpless.<br />
<br />
Without
a safe, trusting relationship, children do not invite parents into
their world. Sometimes, it is valuable to take a step back and
acknowledge that there has been deterioration in the relationship.
Parents must take the steps necessary to spend quality time on a more
consistent basis. Sometimes it can start with a loving statement: “I
love you very much and I realize that we are spending too much of our
time arguing or stressed out with one another. I miss spending carefree
time just one-on-one. Let’s make a plan to spend time together doing
something that you want to do.” The goal here is to just enjoy—not to
teach or make changes in your child. It is through building this
connection that important conversations can happen more easily.<br />
<b><br /></b><b>Shift your parenting perspective from "manager" to "coach"</b> <br />
<br />
The goal in raising children is that by the time they reach adulthood, they are ready to live and function independently. A lot of growing and skill development must occur before young adults can successfully manage their time, materials, finances, and relationships independent of regular parental input and support.<br />
<br />
Children, especially teens, often have an inaccurate sense of what is involved in truly accomplishing what they are expected or desiring to complete. Parents often describe that their children act as if they can pull it all off at the last moment, and then in the end find that they can’t. This is sometimes referred to as “magical thinking”—believing that somehow everything will get done and all will work out. Parents often recognize that their child is not yet ready for certain freedoms and responsibilities, fearing that if they leave too much room for their child’s decisions, their child might fail. Some, in their love and parental anxiety, jump in to rescue their children from experiencing the harsh reality of their actions (or lack of actions). Others resort to enticing incentives and harsh consequences, only to find neither sufficient to change their child’s behavior (except for limited time and activities). Both of these approaches often leave the child feeling frustrated or resentful, as they feel not respected, trusted, or worse, controlled.<br />
<br />
To learn what they need to do to manage independently, children need to be taught the skills but also have ample opportunity to experiment and learn from their own experiences. For parents to be accepted as supportive and welcomed in their child’s growth process, they need to have a deeply trusting, connected relationship with their child. Constant parent-child conflict can be exasperating and detrimental to a child’s growth and well-being, not to mention stressful on the entire family unit. Parents do a tremendous service if they collaborate with their children about the role each of them plays in making sure the child carries out certain roles and responsibilities. Discussing in advance how much help and under what conditions a parent will assist—whether with homework, maintaining an orderly room, or exploring new activities—the more the child will learn to develop important life skills.<br />
<br />
A parent coach can effectively facilitate conversations between parents and children, opening the door to communication and allowing each to feel empowered and truly heard by one another. As an outside observer, a parent coach help a parent explore how to gradually shift the responsibility of managing all aspects of a child’s life from the parent to the child, at reasonable and appropriate times. The parent can then take on the role of coach and will be able to provide the child with encouragement, recommendations, feedback, and practical techniques—without creating resentment and resistance.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOY_WEcD8ZuWM9A5zdT0yDgwMAXfmWlpFV3rzNWocbCiSKdelN7v9vcsBWBbTUraiNy-L6h2Tpl0kolXnxG78cB5wYFysZwjCPV-whq3R13sUFTcGs5rcz2xbbuXcUMpGNdZogTc8-aIA/s1600/PTO_095R.JPG" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOY_WEcD8ZuWM9A5zdT0yDgwMAXfmWlpFV3rzNWocbCiSKdelN7v9vcsBWBbTUraiNy-L6h2Tpl0kolXnxG78cB5wYFysZwjCPV-whq3R13sUFTcGs5rcz2xbbuXcUMpGNdZogTc8-aIA/s320/PTO_095R.JPG" width="213" /></a><b>PARENT-COACH TIP:</b> <b>One-on-One Time</b><br />
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Plan to spend one-on-one time with each of your children on a regular basis. Depending on the age of the child, the total number of children you have, and other family obligations, aim to set aside half an hour a few days a week for each child. This time can be spent in a variety of ways; however, there are three basic guidelines:<br />
<br />
• <b>Plan time with your child in advance.</b> This is a great way to say, “You are important to me.”<br />
• <b>Make sure it is child-centered time.</b> Focus it on an activity of their choosing.<br />
• <b>Make sure it is nonproductive time.</b> They can teach you, but you are not in teacher mode.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />An earlier version appears in the June 2014 issue of </span></b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b>Attention</b><b><b><b> magazine<b>. <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.chadd.org/Membership/Join-CHADD.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a></span> and receive every issue!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><b><b><b>Join conversations about parenting kids with ADHD on <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Support/Attention-Connection.aspx">Attention connection</a></span>, your social network for all things ADHD!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b></span><br />
<h3>
<i><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></span></span></b></i></h3>
<i><b><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Cindy Goldrich, EdM,
ACAC, a mental health counselor and a certified ADHD coach, specializes
in coaching parents of children who have ADHD. She is the cofounder of
the Long Island Professional ADHD Consortium.</span></b></i>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-62284187640281190822015-05-26T09:20:00.003-07:002015-05-26T09:23:44.755-07:00Hands-On Support for Parenting<i><b>guest blog by Cindy Goldrich, EdM, ACAC</b></i><br />
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ADHD involves more than just difficulty
with inattentiveness, impulsivity, and hyperactivity. For many children,
it involves difficulty with managing their emotions, their ability to
plan and carry out their goals, and much more. Children with ADHD often
feel misunderstood, overwhelmed, and ill equipped to manage what is
expected of them. When they don’t seem to be working toward their
potential or are acting defiant, parents find it difficult to know how
to react in a way that will truly change their child's behavior.<br />
<br />
When a child is diagnosed, parents often are given little more than some reading material, general advice, and perhaps medication for their child. Yet the family’s most pressing need, particularly for the parents, is to become as knowledgeable as possible about this complex and often misunderstood condition. Wonderful resources are available, but for many parents, nothing replaces contact with other individuals who can help them understand their challenges and support them through a process of growth and change. Enter the world of <b>parent training</b> and <b>parent coaching</b>.<br />
<br />
<b>Parent the child you have</b><br />
<br />
Every person is born with a unique chemistry, physique, and temperament. As parents become more educated and aware of how the traits of ADHD impact their child’s life, they become more conscious of how they must adjust their parenting to match the needs of their child. This is what I call “parent the child you have.”<br />
<br />
Children with ADHD, just like all children, are blessed with a range of
strengths and talents. It is vital that we recognize and nurture their
interests and passions even when it may seem to take time and energy
away from some of their academic pursuits. One of the greatest
challenges children (and adults) with ADHD face is that many of them
have a slower processing speed and a less accurate sense of the passage
of time. As a result of this and other challenges (distraction,
organization, etc.), they often need more time to accomplish what their
peers do. I refer to this as having a “disability perspective.”<br />
<br />
No
one wants to think of their child as having a disability; however, if
we do not recognize the disabling aspects of our personal weaknesses, we
do not make appropriate adjustments in our expectations. With limited
hours after school and on weekends, it is important to balance the
academic pressure and expectations with the activities that bring the
child personal growth and satisfaction. Parents must coordinate and
support this complex balancing act so that the child is not in a
constant state of frustration and stress due to the range of demands and
expectations placed on them at school.<br />
<br />
Always keep in mind that ADHD looks different in each child. With
“parent the child you have” as your guiding principle, you will be able
to help your child thrive. The more you and your child can learn about
how ADHD affects your child specifically, the more equipped you both
will be to face the challenges ahead. <br />
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<br />
<b>Parent training: CHADD's Parent to Parent<br /><i>by Katherine McGavern</i></b><br />
<br />
In 2006, CHADD created <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Training-Events/Parent-to-Parent-Program/Online-Family-Training-on-ADHD.aspx" target="_blank">Parent to Parent</a>, a comprehensive course taught by parents of children with ADHD who have been trained and certified by CHADD to teach the program. The seven-session course covers a wide range of information, starting with the science of ADHD and proper assessment. Then it outlines multimodal treatment options, including a comprehensive look at ADHD medications. The course introduces parenting strategies and positive behavioral interventions for ADHD management at home and school, a complete description of school accommodations (educational rights) and how to get them, guidelines for building an education team, advice about how to talk to the child about his or her very special brain, and a view of ADHD across the lifespan.<br />
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Each of the weekly two-hour sessions covers an area of information
absolutely essential to the successful management of ADHD. And best of
all, the training is from a parent's perspective, brought to you by
experts who have faced the same struggles, questions, and challenges you
face. In addition to the classes you will receive a Parent to Parent
workbook full of helpful articles, tips and worksheets to use in your
own family.”<br />
<br />
Limited to twenty-five parents per session, Parent to Parent encourages interaction among its "students," who experience the relief and comfort of being in a training filled with other parents who are struggling with the frustration, exasperation, confusion, and helplessness that usually accompany an ADHD diagnosis. <br />
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Find out when the next <a href="http://www.chadd.org/Training-Events/Parent-to-Parent-Program/Online-Family-Training-on-ADHD.aspx" target="_blank">Parent to Parent</a> class is being offered and follow the links to enroll.<br />
<br />
<b>Parent coaching</b><br />
<b><i>by Cindy Goldrich, EdM, ACAC</i></b><br />
<br />
Parents often find they need support in addition to understanding the
essential science and laws regarding ADHD. Some seek out therapy to help
them understand and cope with their feelings; for many, however,
support comes in the form of ADHD parent coaching.<br />
<br />
Family members, friends, and even well-meaning teachers and other professionals may offer advice and strategies with the intention of helping you “fix” or “teach” your child. You must learn to trust your inner voice and tailor your parenting to meet the needs of your unique child. For some, this will mean providing tighter control, for some it may mean offering more guidance and support, and for others, it may mean reducing certain obligations or expectations in the present time. These are some of the issues a parent coach can help you explore and resolve.<br />
<br />
A trained
professional who combines the knowledge of coaching, parenting, and
ADHD, an ADHD parent coach provides parents with appropriate tips,
tools, strategies, and ongoing support to manage the complexities of
raising a child with ADHD. Once a parent is educated about the impact
that ADHD, executive function deficits, stress, anxiety, and pressure
have on learning and behavior, the parent coach can help the parent set
reasonable goals. Through ongoing encouragement, recommendations,
feedback, and support, the coach can help the parent develop the tools,
strategies, and confidence necessary to remain accountable to the
changes he or she wishes to make.<br />
<br />
Change and growth take time, patience, and sometimes a little extra help and support from someone outside your family who can add insight and perspective. A trained parent coach will provide you with the support, strategies, and structure needed to make the real and sustainable changes in your family. With proper strategies and a proactive approach, the road may still be difficult, but success and satisfaction will be well within your reach.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">An earlier version appears in the June 2014 issue of </span></b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><b>Attention</b></i><b><b><b> magazine<b>. <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.chadd.org/Membership/Join-CHADD.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a></span> and receive every issue!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></b></i></span><br />
<i><b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><b><b><b><b>Join conversations about parenting kids with ADHD on <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Support/Attention-Connection.aspx">Attention connection</a></span>, your social network for all things ADHD!</b></b></b></b></span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></span></span></b></i><br />
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<i><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span></span></span></b></i></h3>
<i><b><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">Cindy Goldrich, EdM, ACAC, a mental health counselor and a certified ADHD coach, specializes in coaching parents of children who have ADHD. She is the cofounder of the Long Island Professional ADHD Consortium.<br />Katherine McGavern coaches adults with ADHD and is a certified Parent to Parent teacher. She is a member of the editorial advisory board of </span></b></i><b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Attention</span></b><i><b><span style="font-size: x-small;"> and a co-founding member of CHADD Mercer County.</span></b></i>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-63986978935700656292015-05-19T07:47:00.000-07:002015-05-19T07:48:03.932-07:00Becoming Happier<i><b>guest blog by Marie S. Paxson</b></i><br />
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Ever feel like your kids took a look at that chart of all the bad things that can happen to young people with ADHD… and started using it as some sort of to-do list?<br />
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I believe these difficult episodes reinforce the theory that those with ADHD may have a thirty percent lag in brain development. So their growing years are going to last longer.<br />
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Last week I talked about managing unhappiness. While you will need to master that skill, that’s only part of the equation. You’re going to need some ways to become happier while raising challenging children.<br />
<br />
These suggestions may feel contrived. We all want happiness to just
appear as needed, but it doesn’t work that way. Genuinely happy people
invite it in and make room for it. The elements of ongoing happiness and
contentment include gratitude, spirituality, and pleasant memories.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimb5VmVXdIRvMjX5nMuk7ChCikXCP8PzUKBmwtj9ZIogn8xr2rREANSdhPNen4wpkbvjuDik_uf4cq9p1mdTwzjncm2nH-ENmqlh6hxlmglgY2Dc7VRGZ0OrsZcej-zrNTuEkJ3Xz4174/s1600/P2P+043.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimb5VmVXdIRvMjX5nMuk7ChCikXCP8PzUKBmwtj9ZIogn8xr2rREANSdhPNen4wpkbvjuDik_uf4cq9p1mdTwzjncm2nH-ENmqlh6hxlmglgY2Dc7VRGZ0OrsZcej-zrNTuEkJ3Xz4174/s320/P2P+043.jpg" width="211" /></a></div>
<b>Let’s start with gratitude.</b> Ugh!—right? I’m not a sunshine-and-rainbows kind of gal. I embrace my tendency towards snark, since I’m not mean spirited. But it is hard to argue with the scientific evidence that gratitude increases one’s ability to be happy. Research also suggests that expressing gratitude should be done frequently, not just while one is unhappy.<br />
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If you don’t know where to begin, you can start with saying a quick thank you for your food, clothing, and shelter. Since you are doing this to increase happiness, the habit is more important than the topic.<br />
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Here’s what I do, since smelling the roses doesn’t come naturally to me. On a regular basis, I express gratitude for all of the near misses in my daily life. My dog didn’t chase that jogger? Check. Spilled beverage didn’t ruin my paperwork? Check. Husband didn’t bring up the topic I asked him to avoid at a party? Check. You get the idea. <br />
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<b>This leads us right into spirituality.</b> Research has shown that those with strong faith or spiritual beliefs are happier. If you are part of a faith that you like, you could delve deeper. If aren’t finding meaning with your current method, you might consider changing congregations. If you don’t know what you believe, exploring different spiritual paths can be comforting as well as enlightening. The point is to connect with something outside of ourselves.<br />
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<b>Another strategy to increase happiness is to think back on a time when you were happy or happiest.</b> What were the elements of that time of your life? Can some be replicated now?<br />
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Suppose you recall being really happy at your cousin’s wedding. What enjoyable elements were present? The people you were with? Staying at a hotel? Dancing? After identifying this, you can add these as “essentials” to be enjoyed regularly. If you have adult ADHD, you may need to create a reminder to scan your weekly schedule to ensure it includes joyful activities.<br />
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<b>Remember that suggestion from last week’s post about radical self-care? Take it seriously. </b>Popular culture describes radical self-care as making a priority of stress reduction and engaging in enjoyable activities. It is moving self-care to the top of your to-do list. It means dropping everything and putting your needs first.<br />
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Why do it? It seems counterintuitive to do relaxing or interesting activities during a crisis. But radical self-care can break the cycle of obsessive thoughts and useless worry. It can restore balance to your thoughts and prevent erosion of your general health. Also, do you want your children to remember you as a depleted, frazzled parent with weak coping skills? Do you want them to think that is an appropriate response to life’s difficulties?<br />
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Look online for examples. The most important aspect is that it is individualized. Don’t just follow a list created by others. Do what speaks to YOU.<br />
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<b>The bottom line is that you are going to a parent for a very long time. </b>Your role will not end when your child turns eighteen, twenty-one, or even thirty, although your daily involvement will change. Making the effort to increase your happiness will maintain your health and improve your ability to problem solve, which will pay off for your entire family.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-v09JFGwpOVysghg7EDhfUK3lJZuhjokCTe5_TyxFW9j-c3OwOsc23c8BXHshrJVAnlVbVNCYgCbQf4c0HPIUkTy_ul7uf1VhM7H9bqu6Zzi-6tiHU6yXZL4djQbriecWkRUSlj74FI4/s1600/Paxson.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-v09JFGwpOVysghg7EDhfUK3lJZuhjokCTe5_TyxFW9j-c3OwOsc23c8BXHshrJVAnlVbVNCYgCbQf4c0HPIUkTy_ul7uf1VhM7H9bqu6Zzi-6tiHU6yXZL4djQbriecWkRUSlj74FI4/s1600/Paxson.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">A longer version of this post appears in the April 2015 issue of </span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><b>Attention</b></i><b><b><b> magazine<b>. <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.chadd.org/Membership/Join-CHADD.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a></span> and receive every issue!<br />Join conversations about parenting kids with ADHD on <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Support/Attention-Connection.aspx">Attention connection</a></span>, your social network for all things ADHD!</b></b></b></b></span></span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
<i><b><br /></b></i><i><b>Marie S. Paxson chairs the editorial advisory board of </b></i><b>Attention</b><i><b>
magazine. A former member of the organization’s national board of
directors, she is a past president of CHADD. </b></i></span></span></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2891618773474211456.post-37387108232854462232015-05-12T13:03:00.000-07:002015-05-18T13:18:37.431-07:00Managing Unhappiness<i><b>guest blog by Marie S. Paxson</b></i><br />
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Can you be the parent of a child with ADHD and still be happy?<br />
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Meeting attendance doubled when our CHADD chapter presented this topic. Ironically, without the coordinator’s expert leadership, it could have become one of our gloomiest meetings.<br />
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You may be surprised to learn that managing unhappiness is one of the keys to increasing happiness. As the parent of two young adults with ADHD, some of the lessons I’ve learned and insights I’ve gained about managing unhappiness may be helpful for you.<br />
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• <b>During difficult times, is aiming for happiness even realistic?</b> Some things are just sad or upsetting. Learning to stay in uncomfortable moments is not instinctive. It was much easier to go to my favorite vices, like distracting myself by meddling, uninvited, into other people’s business. I had to learn techniques to “sit with the sadness.” <br />
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• <b>If you are in a truly miserable situation, learn about and practice radical self-care.</b> You may want to tackle a problem immediately, but it is better to stabilize yourself before taking part in tough decisions or difficult conversations.<br />
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• <b>Connect with others in a similar situation.</b> You will probably have to look outside your circle of friends who are raising neurotypical children. Having understanding and supportive friends provides many benefits. Make this a priority. One Mother’s Day, my best friend and I didn’t like how our teens were treating us. So, we went to a local restaurant for brunch together. Yes, it was odd being surrounded by happy moms and grandmoms receiving flowers and adulation from their families. But since that was not our experience, we celebrated our ability to rise above it all. Jill and I ended up giggling and feeling so grateful we could count on each other. (We met at a CHADD meeting, by the way.) <br />
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• <b>Adjust your expectations.</b> I like the saying “Don’t go to the hardware store for a loaf of bread.” This means having reasonable expectations and not expecting actions that are beyond our children’s current capabilities. If our children will struggle with forgetfulness, lack of focus, or impulsive behavior, why do we get annoyed when they display these traits? Recognizing that they are a work in progress provides perspective. Realizing that they pay a bigger price than we do for their difficulties invites compassion.<br />
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• <b>Avoid braggy parents who have “perfect” children.</b> You are NEVER stuck with these folks; you have choices. In their company, fake a lost phone or stomach distress. Get away from them as soon as you can. Sometimes braggers do this because they miscalculate their audience. Sometimes they are taking credit for their child’s accomplishments. Sometimes they are lying. The reasons don't matter. Just like baseball players don't swing the bat at every pitch, you don't have to listen to every story they share about their fabulous children. <br />
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As you add more happiness to your life, you will develop greater tolerance and may even appreciate other children’s accomplishments. But if you aren’t there yet, don’t make yourself miserable… RUN. As you are running, send the bragger a warm (not smug) thought. Sooner or later, all children make disappointing decisions and these parents do not have the coping skills or resilience that you have acquired.<br />
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• <b>Don’t overdo the parental sacrificing.</b> All parents give up time, energy, and money. If you feel resentful about missing a favorite aspect of your life, that is a sign that you have scaled back too much.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Next Week: Becoming Happier</b></span><br />
<br />
<br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b><b><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-v09JFGwpOVysghg7EDhfUK3lJZuhjokCTe5_TyxFW9j-c3OwOsc23c8BXHshrJVAnlVbVNCYgCbQf4c0HPIUkTy_ul7uf1VhM7H9bqu6Zzi-6tiHU6yXZL4djQbriecWkRUSlj74FI4/s1600/Paxson.jpg" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-v09JFGwpOVysghg7EDhfUK3lJZuhjokCTe5_TyxFW9j-c3OwOsc23c8BXHshrJVAnlVbVNCYgCbQf4c0HPIUkTy_ul7uf1VhM7H9bqu6Zzi-6tiHU6yXZL4djQbriecWkRUSlj74FI4/s1600/Paxson.jpg" /></a><span style="font-size: small;">A longer version of this post appears in the April 2015 issue of </span></span></b><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><i><b>Attention</b></i><b><b><b> magazine<b>. <span style="color: purple;"><a href="https://www.chadd.org/Membership/Join-CHADD.aspx" target="_blank">Join CHADD</a></span> and receive every issue!<br />Join conversations about parenting kids with ADHD on <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://www.chadd.org/Support/Attention-Connection.aspx">Attention connection</a></span>, your social network for all things ADHD!</b></b></b></b></span></span></b></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br />
<span><i><b><br /></b></i></span><span><i><b>Marie S. Paxson chairs the editorial advisory board of </b></i><b>Attention</b></span><i><b><span>
magazine. A former member of the organization’s national board of
directors, she is a past president of CHADD. </span></b></i></span></span></span>CHADD BLOGGERShttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10767001166174439194noreply@blogger.com1